James' sacrifice
by xxKLxx
Summary: October 31 1981 - James' sacrifice saved Lily, his son Harry and his unborn child. Now Lily must find her way through this life without her husband. Leaning on her two best friends for support, she gains strength and finds a new love. Sequel now COMPLETE. Rated M , Lily/Sirius, werewolf cure.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own this franchise, although I wish I did because I would love to be a billionaire. All credits to JKR for this amazing universe in which we can all make our own adaptations and story lines.**

 **Just an idea that popped into my head, no idea where its going, although I do have some vague ideas in mind. Stay tuned!**

 **Chapter 1 - 31 October 1981**

"Take Harry and flee" called James, as the front door to the Godric's Hollow house was blown in. Lily had her infant son in her arms as she ran up the stairs.

"You're no match for me Potter" cried the shrill voice of Voldemort.

She barricaded herself in Harry's bedroom, listening to the chaos that was happening downstairs. The love of her life was fighting off the most powerful dark wizard in history.

"James!" she called, "James, just disapparate! Get out of there!" she yelled, hoping he would hear her and get a chance to leave.

The chance of James out-duelling Voldemort was slim, but Lily had to hold onto hold onto hope that he could at least fend him off long enough to get out.

She listened with her ear against the door as curse after curse was sent back and forth, hitting objects in the living room smashing windows.

"AVADA KADAVRA" came the roar of Voldemort, along with a green flash that illuminated both levels of the house and shone underneath the door. Lily jumped back from the door and hoped beyond hope that James was alive, but with the ensuing silence, she knew.

Lily Potter would not go down without a fight, but she had to keep Harry safe. She placed him in his crib and cast a Patronus sending the doe urgently to Dumbledore, alerting him to the fact that they had been betrayed and Voldemort had found them. She had confided in him just that day that Peter Pettigrew had been the Secret Keeper and was now realising what a huge mistake it was entrusting him with something so significant. They had suspected he had been up to something when he began disappearing at odd times and not telling them where he had been, but Lilly, James and their friends thought perhaps he had a girlfriend he didn't want to tell them about. Now she could see, Peter was a spy!

Lily heard the soft footsteps of Voldemort approach the room she had barricaded herself in and stood by the window. She knew that she stood little chance of beating this crazed lunatic in a duel, but she knew that if she waited till the right moment, she could cast a protective spell upon Harry and at least try to keep him safe.

"Let me get the boy and you can go free" came the voice of Voldemort, just outside the doorway. Lily held her breath, hoping he would think she disapparated.

"I know you're there, I can sense your magic" he called, as he burst through the door of Harry's bedroom.

Lily stood in front of her son, holding her wand high in front of her. She knew she stood little chance against this monster, but if she didn't try, James' death would be for nothing. She cast that thought away from her mind as she shot a curse at Voldemort and a protective spell at Harry.

"You're quick, I could use someone like you in my ranks. Join me and I will spare you both" Voldemort said, flicking her curse out of the way like it was a buzzing fly.

"I will never join you. Nor will my son. I would rather die!" she spat, sending another curse his way, non-verbally.

"Have it your way… Avada Kadava!" he called, pointing his wand at Lily Potter's chest.

In the split second before the curse hit Lily Potter's body, she could have sworn she saw James standing behind Voldemort. She braced for the impact, knowing there was nothing she could do, she couldn't have gotten out of the way quick enough even if she tried, she just hoped that Dumbledore would get there in time to save Harry.

As the green jet of light hit Lily, she felt herself fall backwards, the room seemed to explode with light and noise. She heard Harry cry out, as a second curse was sent his way. She knew it was too late. All three of them were dead. Voldemort had won, and he had prevented the prophesy from coming true.

Seconds passed, and Lily was vaguely aware of herself laying on the carpet. She could feel the soft fabric of the woollen floor on her face and although her ears rung, she could hear the sound of Harry crying. She felt her wand in her hand and her hair on her face. She dared to open her eyes, fearing that she may find herself to be dead, but when she did, she saw that she was exactly where she had been, seconds before. Was she alive? How could this be? She wondered, as she pulled herself into a seated position and crawled to where her son sat in his crib.

"Harry? Are you ok my boy?" she asked, softly.

Harry pointed to a pile of black robes nearby on the floor and Lily retreated from them in shock. Those were the robes that Voldemort was wearing.

Looking back at her son, she saw that he had a mark on his forehead that was bleeding. She stood and scooped her son into her arms, cradling the frightened boy to her chest.

"It's ok Harry, Mumma is here" she soothed looking around at the room which had been almost completely destroyed. Part of the wall was gone, and she could feel the night air on her face.

Minutes later, or seconds maybe, she couldn't tell, there was a noise downstairs and Lily held her breath once more.

"Lilly? It's me, its Albus Dumbledore" came a voice.

"Oh professor…" Lily cried out, heading down the stairs towards the voice.

"Don't come down here, I am certain you do not want to see this" he said.

Lily entered the living room anyway and froze when she saw the lifeless body of her husband laying on the floor, his eyes still open and his wand still in his hand.

"oh… James, no, James, oh my god…" she sobbed as she knelt down beside him.

"professor, you've got to help him… Please" she sobbed as she looked up into the face of the only man she thought may be able to help.

"I'm sorry Lily, James is gone" he said, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"No, he can't be, he can't be… We were going to have another baby… I can't do this alone… He's the love of my life, please!" she pleaded, knowing deep down that it was no use. James was dead.

As Lily sobbed beside the lifeless body of her husband, she was vaguely aware of the sound of a motorbike arriving out the front.

"Sirius?"

"James? Lily?" Sirius called.

"In here… We're in here" Lily called, unsure how Harry's god father would react to the news that his best friend was dead.

"Is everything ok? The house… I got word from Dumbledore..." Sirius froze as he entered the living room and took in what was before him. "What… James? Lily? What happened?" Sirius asked.

"We were betrayed Sirius… Peter… is working for _him_ and he told him… where we were... He came in and James… James told me to take Harry upstairs… I ran, and I was going to… disapparate but I thought that… maybe James could defeat him… once and for all... They duelled for a little while… and I heard… I heard the killing curse... Then it was quiet…" she sobbed.

Sirius knelt down beside Lily and Harry, pushing James' hair from his face. It wasn't much use, as James' hair did whatever it wanted anyway.

Tears streamed down the cheeks on Sirius and Dumbledore, who had conjured a chair for himself watched on.

"I heard him come up the stairs and he burst through the door. I tried to duel him, and I cast a protective spell on Harry. He asked me if I would join him. Told me that he would spare us both if he joined. I refused, and he cast the killing curse at me. It hit me here…" she put her hand on her chest and felt a warm sticky substance beneath her shirt. She looked down and saw that she was bleeding from a wound that was shaped like a lightning bolt, similar to the one that Harry now had on his forehead.

"You're bleeding…" Sirius said, worry on his face.

"It's ok, I'm ok"

"You say, Voldemort cast the killing curse at you?" came Dumbledore's voice.

"That's right, I heard him say it then saw the green light come towards me" she said, as she brushed her fingers against her husband's face. "I fell down and I thought I was dead. I heard him cast one at Harry too, but I guess I blacked out or something. When I opened my eyes, I was alive, Harry was alive too. The room was a mess and Voldemort's robes were in a pile on the floor. I don't know what happened professor. I really can't tell you how we both managed to survive those curses" she said.

"Curious" said Dumbledore.

"There's one other thing… When he shot that curse at me, I could have sworn I saw James standing behind him. That's why I was so shocked when I came down and saw that James was… He's…" she didn't finish the sentence, instead, sobbed even harder than before.

"Very curious indeed" said Dumbledore.

"What's curious?" asked Sirius.

"I will need to look into this a little more, but if I am not mistaken, James sacrificed himself for you, which prevented you from dying and by taking the curse yourself, you intended on sacrificing yourself, which has saved Harry" he said.

Confusion registered on Lily and Sirius' faces as they took in this information.

"What happened to Voldemort then?" Lilly asked.

"I believe the curses both rebounded back onto him" Dumbledore said.

"So, he's dead?" Sirius asked.

"I don't think he is gone forever, but for now, he is dead" Dumbledore said.

The four of them sat in silence for what felt like hours, saying their goodbyes to James. It had probably been only thirty minutes before Dumbledore cleared his throat and spoke.

"We better be going soon. I expect the muggle authorities will arrive shortly" he said.

"You're right… But… I can't leave James. What do we do?" Lilly asked.

"Saint Mungos is best I think" he said, taking out his wand. He levitated the body of James Potter into the air, before placing a hand on his arm and turning into thin air.

"Buh Dahd" came the small voice of baby Harry. It made Lily cry harder. He had recently learnt to say "bye", and "dad" had been a favourite of his for a while now.

Sirius put his arm around Lily's shoulders and pulled her and Harry close to him.

"I'll take you home to my house. What do you need?" he asked.

"Um, I'll just gather some things I suppose, here take Harry" she said, handing the boy over to his god father.

Lily headed upstairs to the room where, just that night, she thought she had died. As she gathered up some toys and clothes for Harry, she found herself wondering just what their life would be like, without James, with a new baby on the way and with nowhere to live.

She shrunk two suitcases full of things for Harry and one for herself, put them in her pocket, and headed back downstairs to. Sirius was singing to Harry as he began falling asleep in his arms. Lily know that she would have to rely on people like Sirius to get her through the next few days and more than likely, the next few years.

She placed her hand on Sirius' shoulder and he stood from where he was seated on the lounge, kept Harry in his arms, held onto Lily's arm and turned on the spot.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 – The weeks that followed**

In the weeks that followed the death of James Potter, the wizarding world was in celebration mode. The villain was gone, and people were safe once again. There had been investigations into what exactly happened the night Voldemort entered the Potter house and it had been decided that it was in fact James' sacrifice that saved Lily and Lily's sacrifice that saved Harry. Both Harry and Lily bore scars from where the killing curse hit them, Harry's being on his head and Lily's on her upper chest near her shoulder.

It was a new kind of magic that no one had really heard of before and people travelled from all corners of the world in an attempt to see the woman-and-boy-who-lived.

For Lily, it was the most incredibly heartbreaking time of her life. While all she wanted to do was cry and wallow in her grief, she had to pick herself up and be responsible for her son. She travelled to St Mungos, the day after the event, to have both herself and Harry checked on. It was there, after a lot of wand waving, potions and ' _ums'_ and ' _uhs'_ , that she was told the identical scars she and her son had would never go away. They were cursed scars and would be a constant reminder that her husband gave his life for hers.

Apart from the scar, it was remarkable that Harry was completely healthy for a 15-month-old. Lily was also healthy and 16 weeks pregnant at the time of the attack. Due to the nature of the times, she and James had been putting off telling anybody, but now the secret was out, and everybody was thrilled for Lily. Sirius had promised to take care of Lily, Harry and the baby for as long as Lily needed, and Remus had spent days with them, offering support as much as he possibly could.

For Lily, she was grateful for the help, but no amount of offers of support would bring James back to her. The funeral was one of the worst days of her life, saying goodbye to the love of her life, surrounded by people who she had never met and were just there for the notoriety was incredibly frustrating for her.

People from the ministry of magic attended and even the minister himself. Lily was granted a significant amount of money for helping to defeat the darkest wizard of all time and to help set her up in a new house when the time came. Sirius almost threw the minister into the nearest bush in the cemetery for his lack of tact in handing over a cheque to Lily, moments after they had just buried her husband.

The wake was a sombre event as well, with people sharing stories of James from their Hogwarts days, however, she hadn't seen any of these people in the years since school finished. The only people Lily could truly count on were Sirius and Remus who were the most supportive of anyone else and Hagrid, who had come to check on Lily and Harry as soon as he heard. Dumbledore had been helpful initially, however Lily felt that he was distant somehow, and when she would ask him something about what happened, about his thoughts on their survival, he was quick to change the subject.

Now, 6 weeks after the attack, Lily Potter lay in the queen-sized bed in the spare room of Sirius' house with her sleeping toddler in her arms, silently crying to herself, wondering how she was going to live on without her husband.

She was yet to find a place for her and Harry to live and it was partially because she couldn't fathom the idea of being alone. Sirius had been amazing to them, opening his home to her and Harry but she knew that pretty soon, the place would be too small for them all.

She slid out from the bed, careful not to wake her son and headed into the kitchen where Sirius was busy reading the daily prophet.

"Morning" she said softly.

"Good morning Lily, I've made some eggs if you're interested" said Sirius. He had gone out of his way to make sure she ate and kept herself healthy, as she had had a habit of locking herself away, neglecting to feed herself.

"Thank you, Sirius" she said, pouring herself some pumpkin juice and getting a plate for some eggs.

"Do you and Harry have any plans for today? I thought we could all go to the new muggle zoo that is opening in town?" he said, more cheerfully than he ought to.

"I actually wanted to talk to you about something" she said.

Sirius looked worried, closed the paper and eyed her thoughtfully.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Well, I'm half way through my pregnancy now and pretty soon, there will be three of us. Harry needs his own room and the baby will needs space too. I think I should start looking at moving out" she said.

"Well, if you think so, but you're all welcome here for as long as you need. Where were you thinking of looking?" he asked.

"Well, all this attention over the last few weeks has been horrible. I'd like to take Harry to live in a muggle town somewhere. Away from prying eyes and magical intervention. I want both the children to grow up away from all of that" she said sadly.

"Away from magic altogether?" asked Sirius, worried that Lily was going to give up her magic.

"No, of course not. I just feel like… the magical world has torn my family apart. I need …. distance" she said.

"Sure, that's completely reasonable" he said, unsure of how to support her through this decision.

"So, did you want to come with me to see some muggle real estate agents?" she asked.

"You want me to help?" he asked.

"Well, if you want to. I mean, I value your input Sirius" she said. "Unless you would rather go to the zoo, but I think Harry and I would love to come once we've got a place of our own" she said.

"Sure thing Lil, I'll come with you" he said, placing a hand on her shoulder as he headed to the bathroom to shower.

x-x

Later that day, with Harry in a stroller, Lily and Sirius entered their forth muggle real estate agency, feeling as though they would never find what they were looking for. Picking up the sales magazine, Lily flicked through the pages, the same as she had done in the last three places.

"Can I help you?" came a friendly voice.

"Yes, hello, I'm looking to buy a house" Lily said, feeling like that was probably obvious.

"Well, you've come to the right place" the lady said with a smile. "I'm Penelope and I will do my very best to find what you're looking for. Do you have any ideas about what you want?" she asked.

"Something with four bedrooms, nice and light, small town, nice schools" Lily began.

"The works, hey?" Penelope asked.

"Seems like it. Sorry, it's a bit much to ask. I just recently lost my home to an explosion and am expecting a baby in a few months, so I'm in a bit of a hurry" she said.

"Hence the extra room… Well, you've come to the right place. I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your home, it must have been awful for you both" she said, looking from Lily to Sirius.

"Oh, this is… I mean, we're not… My husband, he… he's…" Lily stammered.

"Oh, gosh, I am so sorry. I just assumed. Come… sit down. I have something that is only recent. Not even on the market yet, but I think it might be perfect for you. Give me one minute" she said, hurrying out of the room.

"That was mortifying" Lily said as Sirius sat beside her, rubbing her arm comfortingly.

"Can't really blame her though. It's going to happen if we're together in places where no one knows us" he said.

"So, this is a bit pricey, but it is perfect for what you are after. Single level house, five-bedroom, three-bathroom, huge fireplace, country views in small village outside of London, schools just down the street… What do you think?" she said, heading back into the room, showing Lily some photos of what looked to be an amazing cottage on a large block of land.

"The land, does it belong to the property?" she asked.

"Not currently, but the owners of the farm might be looking to sub divide and you could make an offer on the land adjacent to the house if you liked" Penelope said.

"This seems too good to be true. What's the catch?" Lily asked.

"No catch. The owners spoke to me last week and the house was to go on the market this week, but if you're interested and can make an offer, I will hold off advertising. That will save a lot of costs too, mind" she said.

"Can I have a look?" Lily asked.

"Absolutely. It's a bit of a drive, but definitely worth it" said Penelope.

x-x

By 5pm the following day, Lily was signing contracts to purchase not only the property, but a large portion of private land that the house sat beside. The owner of the farm was all too happy to sell as his land hadn't been producing as it should in recent years.

The house had been perfect. They had passed a school, a shopping village and best of all, the people they saw in the street looked completely normal. Lily was certain she could give Harry and his little brother or sister a good life there. The land would be good to ensure privacy, with a large front yard, a sturdy fence and high trees forming a barricade between the house and the street.

Lily knew that James would definitely approve of the house. They had always spoken of getting a house and some land to raise some animals and teach their children about nature. As Lily left the agent that afternoon, she looked to the sky and smiled, knowing that in some way, this was James' doing.

x-x

It was a month before Lily could gain access to the house, with the current occupants needing the time to move out. When they did, Lily was pleased to see that the place had been scrubbed spotless and the old carpets had all been taken out. Within a week, the carpets had been replaced, the walls freshly painted, and a few modifications had been done to ensure it was perfect to move into. It took till just after New Years on 1982 before they moved in, but it was well worth the wait.

They hired a truck and Lily allowed Harry to ride up front as Sirius drove it to the house. With the nature of the privacy, it wasn't long before Sirius, Lily and Remus had magically moved all the furniture into the house and arranged it perfectly.

"I love being a witch sometimes" Lily said as she said with a hand on her belly, watching Harry play with toy trucks nearby.

"It would have taken all day to do this by hand" said Remus.

"It would have taken me a month to do it on my own. Thank you both" she said to her husband's friends.

"We're family Lil, please think of us as such" Remus said.

"Oh of course I do, I suppose it's just difficult, given who I have as family. I don't have much to go off" Lily said.

"Well, anything you need… We're here. Isn't that right Moony?" said Sirius.

"Indubitably" he said, getting a giggle from both Lily and Sirius for his use of language.

The small group finished setting up the rather large house, packing away kitchen utensils and such, well into the afternoon. Sirius had built Harry's crib in his room while Harry himself tried his best to help. In the end, Sirius waved his wand at the flat pack set and the crib assembled itself. Harry's books levitated themselves into the bookshelf and his toys neatly arranged themselves in a rather large toybox. Harry was in heaven and Sirius left him to see what Lily and Remus were doing.

Remus had been in the guest bedroom making the bed and putting various objects in the wardrobe and Lily was alone in her bedroom, sitting on her bed, sobbing.

"Hey, it's all going to be ok you know" Sirius said.

"How can it be? James is gone Sirius! He will never come back. I know I have you both and that's great, but I am all alone. At the end of the day when everyone goes home, I am here by myself" she sobbed.

"I will stay here until you tell me to leave" he said. "You're not alone. You'll never be alone. I can't be everything that James was for you, but I will be here for you, for Harry and for this baby, until you order me away" he said, taking her hand in his.

At this, Remus entered the room.

"Me too Lilly, both of us will be here for you no matter what. Until you tell us not to be" he said, sitting on the other side of Lily who was clutching a pillow that James had used.

x-x

 **AN- I hope everyone is enjoying this new fan fiction. I have no plans other than a vague idea of where this needs to end up, so hold tight and please review! The more reviews i get, the quicker i can write. It fills me with enthusiasm. Even a happy/sad face will do when you reach the end of this chapter. Just so i know its being read.**

 **Cheers! Next chapter underway.**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN- Thank you for the reviews. I don't want to be one of those "** ** _If you don't review i wont post"_** **type people, but it does help to know people are reading my story. My first two chapters were short, mostly because I had no idea how to begin. Hopefully the rest will be longer.**

x-x

 **Chapter 3 The newest Potter**

Over the following 3 months, Lily slowly began to get used to life without James. She still cried herself to sleep every night and spoke to him out loud often, but after a while, the complete agony of losing her husband was no longer an intrusive part of her thinking.

The week that her baby was due, Lily began setting up the nursery in preparation. She had asked Sirius to help set up the furniture, which he was more than happy to do, and she was able to put the small things away herself. Harry tried to help in whichever way he could, but usually ended up playing with the baby toys.

"Do you worry what Harry will do when he doesn't have you all to himself?" Sirius asked Lily as he slid the drawers into the cupboard.

"It's all I think about some days. He's such a mummy's boy, I worry that he will be jealous of the baby. I suppose we will just see what happens in the next week or so wont we?" she said.

"I can always come back and stay if you need me to" he said. Lily had taken him up on the offer to stay for several weeks, but in recently, she wanted nothing more than to be home with her boy by herself.

"I think that would be nice" she said, knowing that she will need the help.

Lily painted the room light green (magically), knowing that whether she had a boy or a girl, it was a neutral colour. The bedding and decorations were yellows and oranges and the curtains had balloons of different colours on them. The room was perfect once it was finished and Lily took some time to sit in the rocker and look around. She hoped that James would have approved and while she was devastated that her baby would never know his or her father, she couldn't help but feel a little excited to be having James' baby after he was gone.

"It looks great" Sirius said when he entered the room. "Harry is down for his nap. Read him one story and he was out like a light" he added.

"Sirius, I can't thank you enough for everything you do for us" Lily said.

"Lil, don't, please... I miss James so damn much…" he said, sitting down on the footstool of the rocker, "I am honestly just happy that you allow me to spend time with you and Harry and hopefully the next little one. You may think I'm helping you, and I suppose I am, but its helping me too, more than you know" he said sadly.

"I'm sorry… I guess I'm just so busy caught up in my own grief that I forget how close you all were. Remus too. I really would like for you all to come over whenever you like. You're both welcome here any time… In some ways, it makes me feel like James is still here. It makes this house a home" she said, taking his hand in hers and squeezing it gently.

"Well, that's that then. We need each other Lil, there's nothing more to it" he said, trying to make light of the intensity with which their conversation held.

x-x

A few days after that conversation on the 10th of April 1982, Lily gave birth to a healthy baby girl who she named Josie Lily Potter. It was a name that she and James had spoken about early on in the pregnancy and Lily couldn't imagine calling her something other than what James wanted. It was strange to Lily, to name her daughter after herself, however, James had insisted on it early on.

She remembered it like it was yesterday: _James, don't be silly, it's only the first trimester, we can't talk about names just yet" she said._

 _"I know, but I'm just so excited my love. We named Harry after me, it's only fitting that we name this one after you if it's a girl" he said, his head in her lap, listening to her belly._

 _"Ok, but it could be a boy. What then smarty pants?" she teased._

 _"How about Sirius or Remus?" he asked._

 _"You serious?" she asked._

 _"No, I said SIRIUS, I'm James" he joked… "But I am serious. Those two are my best friends, more like my brothers. I want to show them how much they mean to me. To us" he said, gazing up at her._

 _"We'll think about it… Well, what about first names?" Lily asked him._

 _"I like Josie" he said._

 _"Josie?"_

 _"Yeah, it's pretty" he said._

 _"James, I don't know… What about Rose?" she asked, being met with silence. After a while, James changed the tone._

 _"How about a boy's name?" he asked._

 _"I don't know… I just keep thinking that it's a girl… I haven't even thought about boys names" he said._

 _"Well, we've got plenty of time" Lily said._

 _"That we do" he said, leaning up and kissing her._

 _x-x_

Lily sat up in the hospital, cradling baby Josie in her arms when Sirius arrived with Harry in tow.

"Gosh, aren't you dressed beautifully?" she said when Harry walked in, wearing overalls, gum boots, gloves and a sun hat.

"Hey, what the boy wants, the boy gets" Sirius said, picking Harry up and sitting him on the edge of the bed. "Look little man, this is your baby sister" Sirius said to Harry.

Harry looked at the baby bundled in the blankets and smiled. He was almost 2 but it seemed like he was old enough to understand how special she was.

"Do you want to give her a kiss?" Lily asked him.

Harry nodded and crawled closer to his little sister.

"This is Josie, Harry" Lily said, unwrapping the blankets so he could get a good look at her.

Harry took in the small creature for a while, looking down at her tiny fingers and toes, frowning when she made a grunting noise in her sleep, in response to being unwrapped from her cosy blankets.

Harry turned to Sirius and held his hand out for his back pack. Using his chubby 2 almost 2-year-old fingers, Harry unzipped his back pack and took out a bright pink stuffed niffler, then turned back to his little sister and placed it carefully on the place where Harry assumed her lap would be.

"For Joooosie" he said, leaning down and kissing her gently on her forehead. This made Lily cry instantly, seeing the love her son had for his little sister the moment he saw her. She also realised that this had to be Sirius' doing as well and she looked up into his eyes, which were also filed with tears and the two shared an unspoken moment of appreciation.

x-x

When Lily got home from St Mungos, she was extremely grateful for having Sirius and Remus around. Harry was exceptionally needy with Josie taking all of Lily's time and as the new baby settled in to her routine, Lily struggled to maintain the house, feed the baby and keep Harry entertained. It was times like this where she really missed James. He would have had everything under control. He would have calmed Lily down and told her that baked beans for dinner was not a bad thing. He would have forced Lily to take a nap while he expertly settled Josie and took care of Harry. Somehow, she just knew he would be fantastic at this. Better than she thought she was currently doing.

It was one night when Harry was being particularly difficult to bathe that Lily lost her cool. Harry's bath time that night happened to coincide with Josie's feed time and Sirius had been out on a date. It was a full moon, so Remus was away as well.

"Come on Harry, just hop in the bath like a good boy and then we can get Josie and stop her from crying" she begged.

"No! I don't want a bath!" he said, stomping his foot and crossing his arms.

"Come on little man, just do this for mummy please. Can't you hear Josie? She's crying for Mummy to come get her" she said.

"I want Padfoot!" Harry demanded.

"Sirius is busy. It's just mummy tonight" she said, hearing Josie's cries getting louder. "If you don't hurry and hop into the bath, I will pick you up and put you in there myself. Now get in!" Lily demanded.

Harry stood there, defiantly. It wasn't like him to behave this way, he was normally such a good boy, but then again, Lily had been home for two weeks and not really spent much time with her son.

Leaving the room to calm herself she leant against the hall wall and regained her strength. She was good at this, surely. She had been fantastic with Harry when he was a baby, but now, it all seemed so hard. So difficult. Two children under two years was looking like a stupid idea after all. She checked in on Josie, who was still crying and stuck her pacifier in her mouth before going back to the bathroom and finding Harry sitting naked on the floor, crying.

"Harry… I'm sorry, I know mummy has been really busy with your little sister lately, but I promise, after I stop her from crying and put her to bed, I will read you your favourite story and then when Sirius comes back tomorrow, I will take you to get ice cream. Just me and you. How about that?" she asked, hoping that his little mind would comprehend what she was trying to tell him.

Harry looked at her for a moment and nodded, before standing up and stepping into the bath. Lily sat on the stool beside the bath tub and helped Harry get washed, while her newborn cried from the next room.

Lily felt silent tears leave her eyes as she washed her son, knowing that she was failing miserably at being a solo mum.

She helped Harry dry and dress himself in silence before picking up an inconsolable Josie from her basinet. She changed Josie, as if she was a robot, acting automatically as she wiped, powdered her, put on a fresh nappy and redressed her. She felt tears streaming down her face, but she couldn't feel anything anymore. She had been defeated by a newborn and a 1 year old. She sat on the couch and fed Josie, while Harry attempted to climb on her lap too.

"Harry, sweetheart, remember, mummy said that once Josie was back in bed I would read to you? Go and play with your trucks for a little while and I'll come and get you soon" she said.

Harry looked at his mum and burst into tears. Lily felt horrible that she was neglecting her son, but she had no idea how to fix the situation. Harry ran off into his room and Lily was grateful for the respite. It was the first night alone with the two since she came home with Josie and she felt like a complete failure. She had no idea how she might have done this without Sirius and Remus but she felt guilty that she was taking up so much of their lives. Surely Sirius deserved to go out on dates and Remus had to take time away for the transformation and to recover afterwards. She was so selfish in asking that they be there so much and spend so much of their time helping _her_ when there was nothing she could do for them in return.

Once Lily tucked Josie in to her basinet, she went to read to Harry only to find him lying on his bean bag in his room, clutching his book to his chest with little tears staining his face, fast asleep.

She sat beside him and brushed his wayward hair off his face, wondering how she got herself to this point in her life. She felt absolutely helpless and worthless, completely at the mercy of others around her. She didn't want this life for herself, she never envisioned being a single mum, yet here she was.

Carefully, she lifted Harry from the beanbag and carried him to the daybed in his room. She laid down beside him, holding him in her arms and stroking his hair, James' hair… until they both fell asleep.

X-X

The following day, Lily was desperate to make amends to her son. She opened her eyes and realised that she was alone on the daybed in Harry's room where she laid with him the night before. She jumped up suddenly, aware that she hadn't woken through the night to feed Josie, and Harry was no longer in bed with her.

She ran from the room and headed down the hall towards the living room where she heard Harry's voice talking to someone.

As she passed through the living room and into the dining room, she saw Harry sitting up in his high chair and a man standing at the stove with his back to her.

Without taking her eyes off the man in her kitchen, she headed over to Harry, leaning down to kiss him on the forehead.

"Mummy… It daddy!" he said, pointing to the back of the man who was cooking what appeared to be eggs while holding a cooing Josie.

Lily frowned, looking to the man when she suddenly realised that it was in fact her husband. She gasped, wondering how this could be possible when he turned around.

"Good morning my love" he said, walking to her, placing an arm around her and kissing her on the forehead.

"James…? What is going on? How is this possible?" she asked, feeling very confused.

He handed Josie to her and smiled.

"Lily, my love, I'm you husband. Why wouldn't I be?" he said.

"James, you died…" she said, as if he had no idea.

"Don't be silly Lilly. How could I be dead but be here too?" he asked, playing with the hair at the side of her face.

"James, I know you're not real. What's going on?" she asked.

"I wanted to tell you that you're doing a good job, but you need help Lily. You're not yourself" he said, concern etched on his perfect face. Lily just wanted to touch him, and she did. She reached out and touched his face with the hand that wasn't holding Josie. It was such a comfort to her.

"It's so hard James, I can't do this by myself. I need you here" she said.

"You're stronger than you know, my love. Just a little longer and with the right potions, you'll feel better, I promise" he said

"I don't know James, I feel so hopeless. I can't see a way out of this" she said.

James just looked down into her eyes, grey into green, as he placed his hand on the side of her face. She closed her eyes, relishing in the feel of her husband's touch.

"You've got this, my love" he said, as Josie began to cry.

When Lily opened her eyes, she was laying on the day bed in Harry's room with him in her arms. She carefully slipped out from underneath Harry's sleeping body and kissed him before tending to Josie.

As she sat up feeding Josie, she thought about what she had just experienced. It felt so real. James' touch was so real to her, she could still feel the warmth of his hand on her face. She could feel the softness of his lips on her forehead. The logical part of her knew it was all a dream, but she so so desperately wanted it to be something more.

She thought about what dream-James had said to her. ' _With the right potions you'll feel better'._ What exactly did that mean? She wondered. She put Josie back down in her basinet and went and laid on her bed. It was a while before she could get herself back to sleep, but when she did, she slept dreamlessly.

x-x

The following day, Lily woke feeling somewhat refreshed. She was somewhat comforted by the appearance of James in her dream and she had a solid 6 hours sleep after Josie went back to sleep, so she wasn't feeling like a walking zombie. Managing a quick shower and some breakfast, she dressed herself and her children and headed out for Josie's routine 2 week check-up at St Mungos.

Despite not wanting to be too heavily involved with the magical world, she had to use a magic healer in order to have the most effective check for her magical child.

She arrived early for their appointment, feeling accomplished at something for the first time in 2 weeks.

While she waited in the waiting room, Harry was eagerly requesting that Lily read him a book while Josie fussed about, due for a feed. Not wanting to spoil her good streak for the day, Lily attempted to feel Josie and read to Harry at the same time, but as usual, Harry just wanted his mum all to himself. He climbed on her lap, attempting to take up all the space as Lily tried to breast feed her baby.

Feeling flustered, she repositioned Josie so Harry could sit on her lap and have a story read to him (unenthusiastically due to her frustration) while they waited for the healer. She knew that Harry didn't mean to play up and she also knew that he wasn't a naughty boy. He was feeling the sting of having his mum preoccupied and he was lashing out because of it.

When the receptionist called her name and advised her to head to the room, Josie had finished feeding and was being burped. Flustered, Lily stuffed all her things into her bag, took Harry by the hand and rushed down the hall to the healer's office.

When she arrived, she was greeted by a friendly looking female healer, who had a corner full of toys and games for Harry to remain occupied and introduced herself kindly when she walked in.

"Mrs Potter? My name is Dani Diggle and I am the primary young child healer here at St Mungos" she said.

"Please, call me Lily" Lily said, clearly displaying the frustration she felt.

"How are things today Lily?" she asked.

"Today? Things are good. Josie is a great baby" Lily said.

Dani went about doing all the checks that one might do on a small baby, before declaring her completely healthy.

"That's wonderful. I mean, I wasn't concerned, but it's still nice to hear that she's well" Lily said.

"How about Harry? How is he doing?" she asked.

"Well, I don't think he's coping very well to be honest" she said.

"How do you mean?"

"He's suddenly become very demanding, trying to push his way onto my lap when I'm feeding Josie or he'll choose to be difficult when I need to tend to the baby. I know he's just getting used to having to share me but sometimes I just don't know what to do" Lily said honestly.

"That's pretty common and more specifically, in your situation, it's absolutely to be expected that he would feel that way"

"What do you mean, my situation?" Lily asked, confused.

"Well, I apologise, but I take the time to read up on all families before I see them, and I know what happened last year. I can see why Harry would be struggling. He misses his dad and you're all he has. Now he has to share you, it's a big change for him" said the healer.

"oh" was all Lily could think to say.

"It's not dreadfully bad though, Harry will cope. It might just take some time and some guidance" she said.

"Well that's good to hear. I'm just about losing my mind sometimes" Lily said, trying to pass it off as a humorous statement.

"How _are_ you coping, Lily?" she asked her.

"Well, like I said, sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind, sometimes I feel lie giving up, sometimes I think I've got it all under control and then something happens, like just now. We had a fantastic morning, I had a solid 6 hours sleep, had breakfast, even got in a shower. We made it here in great time but then suddenly, Josie was hungry, and Harry wanted a story. It was all a bit too much" Lily said truthfully.

"I see"

"The days when I have Sirius or Remus over to help, its better. Harry likes it when they're around because they play with him and read to him. Then I can get things done and tend to Josie more easily. But I feel like a failure sometimes. I think that if James were still here, well, maybe I would be ok. I would have someone to tell all my fears to. I just know that he would have this all under control…." She blurted out. She felt almost lighter for telling someone how she felt. "I'm not crazy, I just… sometimes it gets a bit too much, you know?"

"I hear what you're saying Lily… It sounds to me like you're experiencing what is a very normal phenomenon that happens sometimes after child birth" Dani said.

"I know all about post-natal depression. Its not that. I'm just overwhelmed sometimes when I'm by myself, that's all. When James' friends are around its fine" Lily said.

"Tell me Lily, when is the last time you laughed?" she asked.

Lily contemplated this question for a while, trying to remember the last time she truly laughed and meant it. Of course she had laughed at Harry's antics on a daily basis but the last time she truly laughed and felt happy was before the 31st of October the year before. Suddenly she felt quite irritated. ' _Who was this woman to be questioning her happiness? She didn't know her life'_.

"Without trying to sound rude, Miss Diggle, my husband died 6 months ago, half of my house exploded, I had to move to a new house and I had a baby 2 weeks ago. I now have two children under the age of two who I care for primarily by myself. Laughing is not high on my list of priorities these days" she said.

"I'm sorry Lily, I'm truly just trying to help" she said.

"I'm not sure I can be helped" Lily said sadly.

"Depression is not something that will just go away. Sure, you can distract yourself, but clinical depression, or, true post-natal depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. This is something that can be helped… With the right potion" she said.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked, wondering what kind of potion can make someone _feel_ again.

"There is a new potion which has been effective in treating depression, quite quickly. It targets hormones and chemicals in the brain and allows the body to sort or _reset_ itself" she said.

"Well, how long does it take?" she asked.

"Seven days. That's it. You take the potion once a day for seven days and you feel immediate results" she said.

"How can that be possible?" Lily asked, wondering how such a simple cure could exist for something so complex.

"It's not widely known about and is relatively new. That's not to say its untested. It's quite safe" she said.

"Well, say I wanted to try it… For a few days. What will it cost me?" she asked, thinking that surely it will be a huge cost.

"It's free, actually. To you at least" she said.

"Right… Because I'm the woman-who-lived?" she asked.

"No, because it's the right thing to do. You shouldn't have to feel this way Lily. You're young and have so much to be happy for, but also so much to be sad about. I want to help you to realise that the happy outweighs the sad and I want you to want it too" she said.

"Ok. I'll do it. I'll take the potion" she said after hesitating. "What harm could it do?" she said, in an offhand manner.

"There are no known negative side effects. You truly have nothing to lose, Lily" she said, standing and heading to a cabinet on the opposite side of her office.

She opened a little door which revealed a cabinet full of small vials of potions, ranging in all different colours.

Taking 7 potions that ranged from dark to light blue in colour, she returned to her desk and sat them down in a row.

"Now, take these as they are labelled, from darkest blue to lightest. They are numbered so you won't forget. Take this one now…" she said, handing the darkest blue one to Lily, who took it as instructed, "…and take these each day. Come back and see me in a week when they're all gone, and we'll evaluate how you are then" she said.

"It all sounds too good to be true. I'm sorry if I seem a bit sceptical. I just don't see a way that these blue potions could change my life" Lily said sadly.

"They won't. You still need to lean on those around you to help when they can. You do have two very beautiful children Lily. And they're both so lovely. Harry has been happy to play over there this whole time. Be proud, you and James did a wonderful job and you're continuing to do a wonderful job raising him…" she said.

For a few moments, there was an awkward silence where Lily didn't know what to say or how to fill it. She took it as an opportunity to pack her things and get ready to leave. As she stood, she felt a slight warmth spread over her and for a moment, she forgot most of her worries and smiled at the Healer.

"I'll see you in a week, Lily. Take care" she said, standing and shaking her hand.

"Thank you. You too" she said, as she took Harry by the hand and left the office.

It had been an interesting visit. What had originally been a check-up for Josie had ended up with a focus on Lily. She felt as though for the first time in a long time, she was being seen as someone more than just a mum or a widow. She was a person, separate to her responsibilities, someone worthy of being helped and cared for. She now had some sort of hope for a future where she may actually find herself laughing again.

x-x

 **AN- This was not actually planned but I do like where it has gone. Of course someone in Lily's shoes would be feeling completely overwhelmed! Hopefully the blue potions will clear her mind and help her get some sense of herself back. In the next chapter, we'll see how the potions work. They may work exactly how they're intended, or they may do the complete opposite. Either way, Lily will lean on Sirius more and more, not just for helping with Harry, but to confide in, someone to trust.**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN- Yay! Keep the reviews coming peeps! Enjoy!**

x-x

Two days after Lily had the healer's appointment, she woke eager to begin fresh. The first two potions seemed to have kick started something new and good in her mind. She understood the reasons why Harry was playing up as he was, and she knew that she had to make time for him, alone. It would prove to be difficult and Lily knew that, but the fear associated with that was no longer as profound. She began writing down and implementing a new routine that would allow for some one on one time with Harry while Josie slept and so far, even though it was only a day or so in, it was working. And the results were beginning to show.

Sirius had come back the day after, but Lily feared opening up to him might cause him to neglect his own life to focus on her and the kids. She wanted nothing more than for Sirius to be able to be happy. This wasn't _his_ life, it wasn't the path that _he_ chose. This was James' life, it was James' path. Lily tried to push him away, bit by bit, told him to go on a second date with the witch he saw, but still, he came back.

This day, Lily woke and took her potion, made breakfast for Harry and fed Josie. She felt accomplished and like she was succeeding at something. It felt good to feel something beyond complete utter agony and despair. She even made an effort to brush her hair and put it up in a twist for the first time since James had died.

While Harry coloured and Josie was kept occupied in her baby bouncer, Lily cleaned up in the kitchen and swept the floor. Finally, she was able to walk from one side of the house to the other without tripping on a toy car or a dragon.

It was mid-morning when Sirius arrived. He didn't knock, as he practically lived there.

"Hey Lil, how's your morning?" he asked, as he greeted her with a classic Sirius bear hug.

"Gosh, Siri, you're going to squeeze the life out of me… My morning's been good" she said with a giggle that shocked not only her but Sirius too.

"Did you just call me Siri?" he asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"You haven't called me that in…."

"A little over six months?"

"Well, yeah I suppose so"

"Things are looking up Sirius" she said with a smile.

"What does that mean? What's happened?"

"Nothing, I just feel like maybe everything will be ok, at some point" she said, heading to the laundry room to check on the washing.

"Have you been into the firewhisky?" he asked.

"Come on, you know I don't keep the hard stuff here" she said.

"Well, whatever it is, it's good to see a smile on your face… Now where's my boy?" he asked.

"He's in the living room, colouring... Actually, I wanted to ask you something" she said.

"Anything"

"Would you watch Josie today? I want to spend some time with Harry. Maybe take him for ice cream or something" she said.

"I don't exactly have the means to feed her, Lil" he joked.

"Its ok, I expressed. There's a bottle in the fridge. Just warm it up with your wand for 20 seconds and it will be fine" she said.

"Sure… You two definitely need some one on one time" he said.

"Well, poor Harry has really missed out on spending time with me lately, I don't want him to think that I don't have time for him anymore" she said.

With that, Lily got Harry ready and headed off for an adventure in the city. They visited the zoo and went to the shops. She was grateful for taking the stroller because Harry was so tired by the end, he just wanted to lay down. She thought about apparating home, but didn't want to do it while he was asleep. He didn't like it much anyway, which is why they used the floo network mostly or caught taxis.

Lily continued shopping with a sleeping Harry, buying herself some nice things, given how quickly she bounced back almost completely to her pre-pregnancy size. As the shops began to close, Lily thought it was best to take Harry home. He still slept in the overloaded stroller and she thought it was best to just let him be and hop onto the country bus that would stop on the main road near her house.

As the bus travelled down the highway, Lily looked out the window at the buildings, cars and people and thought about all the things she wanted for her children's futures. She didn't want them to suffer the way she had, nor did she want them to ever have to face evil the way their father did. As the buildings became fewer and were replaced by fields and farms, Lily had an idea about what she wanted for her _own_ life.

She thanked the driver at her stop and managed to exit the bus with a still sleeping Harry and made off towards her house. It was dark when she got home, and the porch light was on. She could smell an amazing aroma coming from her kitchen. She stopped outside and looked into the window, seeing Sirius holding her baby in one arm and stirring a pot with the other. He looked so at ease with himself, so comfortable, it made Lily happy. She waved when he looked up at her and he hurried to the door to help her in with the stroller.

"Merlin, Lily, where have you been? I was about to call Remus!" he said.

"Don't be silly, he's probably still recovering. We've had the time of our lives, truly" she said.

"Well, tell me all about it" he said, handing Josie to her and lifting Harry out of the stroller.

"Well, we went to that zoo you raved about, then got icecream and did a bit of shopping" she said, following Sirius to Harrys room where he placed him on his bed. She watched as Sirius gently brushed Harrys hair from his face and understood now, more fully than before, just how much Sirius adores his godson.

"You're amazing with them" Lily said, as they both left Harry's room.

"Oh its nothing, really" he said.

"No, Sirius, I mean it. I don't know what I would have done without you" she said.

"Lily, I've told you before, it means just as much for me to be here as what it does or you to have me here. These kids are my connection to James. To my best friend. I would hate to be away from them" he said, heading back to the stove to finish cooking.

"Well, I bought you something anyway…" she said, hesitating. "I don't know if you'll like it.. but, I saw it and thought of you" she said.

"Presents I can handle" he said, smiling.

Lily placed Josie down in her bouncer and rifled through the bags, pulling out one from a men's store.

"You were in a men's clothing store? Where you just happened to see it?" he asked sceptically.

"Well, I know you don't really shop for yourself and you've been seeing this woman recently, so I thought you needed something nice to wear" she said.

"That's lovely and kind of you Lil, but I don't think I'm going to see her again" he said.

"Well, consider it just a random gift then" she said.

"Well, thank you" he said, planting a kiss on Lily's cheek. She wasn't used to that kind of affection from anyone since James and it threw her a bit. She began sorting through the piles of shopping bags and started folding up the clothes that needed putting away and sorting through toys that she was going to put away from Harrys birthday.

Harry woke as Sirius dished up dinner, and the three of them sat down and ate together. It was a quiet event, with Sirius asking Harry about his day and Harry answering to the best of his almost 2-year-old ability.

Once the meals were finished, Harry was bathed, and the dishes were cleared, Sirius read to Harry while Lily fed Josie and put her to bed.

By the end of the day, Lily was exhausted, and she opened a bottle of butterbeer for her and Sirius to share.

"So, are you going to tell me what went so badly at this date?" she asked.

"She wasn't really interested in me. She's some kind of up and coming journalist and I felt like, rather than a first date, it was more of an interview" he said, shrugging it off like it didn't matter.

"What was her name? Just so I know what to look for, in case you blurted out all my secrets" Lily said with a grin.

"Rita. And don't worry, I only told her _half_ of your secrets" Sirius replied.

"Well anyway, it's her loss. You're a great catch and someone will someday find you simply irresistible, I'm sure" she said.

"You think so?"

"I know so Sirius. You're a great guy" she said.

"You're not so horrid yourself" he said.

"Can I tell you something, Siri?" she asked.

"You can tell me anything Lil"

"I'm taking a potion for my moods" she said.

"Oh"

"I didn't want to tell you because I thought I could handle it. But honestly, over the last two weeks, I have felt like a complete failure. I thought I was a horrid mother and Harry hated me" she said, feeling relieved at getting all this out.

"Oh, Lily, why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

"I didn't want to bother you. You need to have a life of your own Sirius, we're not your responsibility. We're not the life you chose, we're not in your plan" she said.

Sirius was quiet for a moment.

"Do you know what? The only thing that I regret, that I can't stand, that keeps me up at night, that I didn't _choose,_ was to have my best friend murdered. To have your husband killed and leave behind two amazing kids. The only thing that I want to do is to make amends for what happened. I know I didn't point that wand, but I convinced you both to use Peter as secret keeper, which is something I will always regret. This is my doing and I will spend my whole life, making it up to you if I have to".

"You blame yourself for this?" she asked.

"Of course I do! James wanted me to be secret keeper, but I convinced you at the last minute to change to Peter. Remember? It should have been obvious that he was the spy. He was always sneaking off, scratching at his arm… He was a death eater. He was being called. Arrghhhh, it's so obvious now" Sirius said in frustration.

"We thought maybe he was seeing someone"

"Yeah he was… He was seeing Voldemort"

They both chuckled at this and continued chatting for the next few hours, airing out all their dirty laundry. It felt good for Lily to finally tell someone how she had been feeling. Sirius was the only person she felt comfortable opening up to. Certainly, Remus was a great friend and he was a fantastic listener, but somehow, Lily felt a closer connection to Sirius than to Remus.

x-x

Over the following Months, Lily had perked up significantly. She finished the potions and returned to the healer, raving about how amazing the treatment had been. She was feeling wonderful and the feeling did not diminish once she was done with the 7 day course.

When Harry turned 2, she had a party and invited as many people as she could think of. Dumbledore, Hagrid, Sirius and Remus all came as well as Frank and Alice Longbottom and their son Neville whose birthday was the day before Harry's. Lily bonded more strongly than before with Alice due to the Longbottom's near miss with Bellatrix Lestrange. As it turned out, when Lily was deep in her grief, the pair were captured and tortured almost to insanity before being rescued by Aurors. The two women shared a kind of bond that only came with experiencing something so horrific.

By the middle of October, Harry was growing up quickly and Josie was sitting up all by herself. Life seemed to be moving on quicker than Lily thought possible but one thing she could count on was Sirius being there for her each and every day. After the conversation in Lily's kitchen, she and Sirius had been so much closer than ever before, counting on each other, sharing their thoughts, hopes and fears and knowing that they would go no further than one another. Lily loved that she had someone to rely on and understand her worries and there was not a single moment where she took it for granted.

Remus began distancing himself more and more as time went by. Lily felt that just like Sirius, he felt some kind of guilt for what happened and could no longer stand seeing Harry and Josie all the time, knowing that their dad was gone. His reaction was completely opposite to Sirius' but no matter how close they tried to bring him in, he just pushed away until he stopped coming around altogether.

As the anniversary of James' death approached, Lily tried her best not to let it upset her. She knew that she would struggle on this day and that was absolutely ok, but she hadn't expected to feel so completely lost.

She awoke on the 31st of October with a tightness in her chest. She tried her absolute best to keep herself busy throughout the morning but as the day wore on, she felt more and more lost. The only saving grace was that Sirius had made a point to stay at the house for the day. After lunch, Sirius suggested that they all go out into the garden to enjoy the cool sunny day. Lily sat with Josie while Harry sped around on his toy broom, which floated only a metre off the ground and Sirius did some gardening the muggle way, much to Lily's amusement. All in all, it would have been a beautiful day if there hadn't been reminders of James everywhere Lily looked.

As the sun began to set, Lily put Josie to bed before organising an outdoor dinner for herself, Sirius and Harry. The garden setting was beautiful, with a table positioned underneath a gazebo that was strung with fairy lights above. In the nearby shrubbery lived real fairies that sparkled and watched from within the safety of their tiny fairy houses. Harry managed to eat half his food before declaring he was done and demonstrating signs that he was tired. Lily quickly bathed him and put him to bed before waking Josie for a feed and settling her in for the night.

Back outside, Sirius had set up a small bonfire which was crackling happily. Lily sat on a large piece of wood that Sirius had transfigured into a seat and sipped on a butterbeer that she had brought out for herself and Sirius. Her thoughts were of how life might be if James had survived that night. She wondered what might be if Sirius or Remus had been secret keeper instead of Peter. She thought that perhaps someone may have found a way to capture Voldemort or kill him and he might not have come looking for them. Maybe the war would have finished another way, a way that didn't involve the death of the only man she had ever loved.

"A sickle for your thoughts?" Sirius asked her.

"Just thinking of James" she said with a sigh.

"Hmm, me too" he said.

"I wonder what he would have been doing if he didn't… if Voldemort hadn't… you know"

"If James were here Lil, he'd probably sit right by you, hold onto you and never let you go. He'd kick me out, so he could have you all to himself and just enjoy being in your company. He loved you so much, it always made us hopeful that that someday we could have that with someone. It was a rare thing what you and James had" Sirius said.

"It was" she said quietly.

"Did I ever tell you that while we were at Hogwarts, I had a thing for you?" he said.

"What? No way!"

"Yep" he said. "Once James noticed you though it was all over for me. No one else stood a chance" he continued.

"That's silly, I thoroughly disliked James at first, remember? He was so bog headed and full of himself"

"But in the end, he won, didn't he?"

"It wasn't a competition" she said. "But I am glad he won. Even if we only got to experience less than five years together. It was an amazing few years though" she continued sadly.

"You should have heard him when he finally got you to go out with him. He was prancing around like he was Godric himself" Sirius said.

"No, about the same as usual then?" she joked.

"Yeah, just about" Sirius said.

The two sat by the fire sipping their butterbeers, reminiscing about all the things James had done, funny, daring and heroic. As they chatted, Lily found herself feeling as though the heaviness in her chest was abating somewhat, and she felt as though maybe, there would be a time where she was ok.

Once Lily was well and truly tipsy and the fire was dying out, she stood and declared that it was time to head inside.

"If its ok, I might stay the night" Sirius said. "I think I've had a bit more butterbeer than I thought" he said.

"That's absolutely ok" she said with a smile. She didn't want to be alone anyway.

Sirius helped Lily clean up in the kitchen, both of them somewhat sloppily, but getting the job done nevertheless. When they were done, they both drank a substantial amount of water and both headed down the hall towards the bedrooms.

Once they reached the spot where they went their separate ways, Lily encased Sirius in a hug, catching him off-guard.

"Thank you, Sirius, for everything" she whispered.

Normally, the hugs they shared were enormous bear hugs that were overtly friendly. This time, however, there was something different. While Lily initiated it, Sirius didn't squeeze her or pick her up, instead, he embraced her as someone would embrace a person they loved. Sirius rested his chin on the top of Lily's head while his arms wrapped around her slender body. While it normally might have felt awkward, this hug felt right. Lily felt safe in the arms of her husband's best friend, _her_ best friend, someone she trusted.

It was the first time a man had held her in this way in a year and it made her feel as though an empty part of her was filled. She held onto Sirius as if letting go might open a wound that may never close again. She found herself breathing in his scent, which was a mixture of cologne, butterbeer, and the unmistakable aroma of a man. It was not something she expected herself to be feeling but, in that moment, she wanted to just stay there, holding onto Sirius and having him hold on to her.

She felt a tear slide down her face that she didn't know she had let go and when she let go of Sirius to wipe it away, she realised it had been _his_ tear.

"I'm sorry, that was really inappropriate" she said, looking down at the floor, embarrassed. SHe was stuck between the feelings she experienced in that moment, and the absolute heartbreak at having Sirius cry in her arms.

"No, its just…. Merlin, Lil, I miss him so much" he said.

"Me too" was all she could say back.

"I feel so guilty Lil" he said, quietly.

"Guilty? What on earth for?"

"For being here. For spending so much time with his kids when he can't. For feeling the way I did just then" he said.

With a grunt from Harry in the room adjacent to where they stood in the hall, Lily took Sirius into her room and sat on the bed.

"You don't need to feel guilty Sirius" she said, placing her hand on his. "That, just then, that was nice. It felt good to be _held_ after so long. I forgot what it felt like" she said, honestly.

"I just… I made James a promise and I don't want to do anything to jeopardise that" he said.

"What was that promise?" she asked.

"I promised him I would take care of you" he said.

"And you are!" she said.

"By manhandling his wife?" he said, louder than he might ordinarily have.

"Don't be ridiculous Sirius" she said.

"I'm not" he said.

"Sirius, please, just listen to me… That, whatever that was… It was fine. It was good even. I needed it. It made me feel happy. If you have a problem with it, that's ok, it's my fault and it won't happen again" she said.

At this, Sirius stood and looked Lily in the eyes.

"I'm sorry" he said sadly, and left the room.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN- A small chapter to keep you all hanging on. Please let me know what you think xklx**

 **x-x**

 **Chapter 5 – Christmas confessions**

Sirius avoided Lily as much as possible for weeks after that night. When he was around, and they spoke, the conversation between Lily and Sirius was more formal than it had ever been before. Lily often thought that perhaps she had done something wrong, like feeling _good_ in Sirius' arms was a bad thing. There was not a single romantic thought that had occurred for Lily that night, but still, Sirius had acted like they had betrayed James.

It was Christmas before they would share any kind of conversation beyond what Harry wanted for lunch or what Lily needed at the grocery store. Harry had woken early, and Lily, Harry and Josie sat together and opened presents. While Josie was still too young to understand the value of Christmas, Harry was so excited and ripped through his presents quicker than Lily ever thought possible.

Sirius and Remus arrived as breakfast was being served and Lily had made sure to cook enough for visitors. After a breakfast that included bacon, eggs, sausages tomatoes, mushrooms and toast, Sirius and Remus showered Harry and Josie in presents.

If Sirius wasn't being so abnormally polite and formal with Lily, it might have been an incredible Christmas, aside from the obvious absence of James. There was laughter, food, presents and even a hint of snow in the air.

Once the children were in bed asleep on Christmas night, Lily, Sirius, Remus and a very merry Hagrid sat by the fireplace drinking firewhisky and singing Christmas songs and talking about old times and new. Lily had taken measures to eliminate the noise from reaching the children, so the adults could stay up and the conversation ebbed and flowed quite naturally.

They spoke happily about the Marauders antics perhaps for the first time without James and about the things they had done in attempts to conceal Lupin's werewolf curse from the world. They spoke about the creation of the map and about Snape's downward spiral into the dark arts. They spoke of their own ups and downs and eventually settled on current events.

"So, tell me, Padfoot, why have you been acting so strange lately?" Remus asked Sirius while Lily and Hagrid were discussing Hagrid's most recent magical creature acquisition.

"I haven't been acting strangely at all" he said, attempting to brush off the suggestion.

"Come off it Padfoot…" Remus said, taking a sip of his drink, "For months you've been weird" he said, getting the attention of Lily and Hagrid.

"I can tell you why…" Lily said, chiming in with a look from Sirius that begged her to stop.

"I'm sure they'd much rather not hear about it" Sirius said.

"Oh Padfoot, I'm absolutely certain we would" Lupin said with a grin.

"Go on then, ou' with it" Hagrid said.

"Certainly…" she said, standing up, feeling a little theatrical in her slightly intoxicated state. "On the night of Halloween, Sirius and I sat up talking…" she began, brandishing her glass, "…sharing our thoughts and our fears with one another… It was a sad night for both of us, we had a little bit to drink and at the end of the night, Sirius and I exchanged a friendly hug" she said.

Remus and Hagrid looked to Lily in silence, as if waiting for her to continue.

"And?" Remus asked eventually.

"And nothing. It was nice" she said, shrugging.

"It was inappropriate" Sirius said.

"No, it wasn't. We were both upset and we both needed to be comforted. It was nothing" she retorted.

Sirius stood, anger or disappointment, Lily wasn't sure, now emanating from him.

"I'm not doing this. Not here, not in front of everyone" he said, looking to Lily before walking out the back door and disapparating with a 'crack'.

Lily could have sworn that for the briefest of moments, Sirius looked _hurt_.

"Well, that was unexpected. We were all having such a good night" she said.

"Sorry Lily, I had no way of knowing how that would turn out" Remus said.

"Never mind, I'm sure he'll come to his senses" she said.

Hagrid took himself out to the garden for some fresh air while Lily and Remus sat talking. While he wasn't as easy to talk to as Sirius had been, he was a good listener and seemed eager to offer help.

"Sirius comes across as a joker and a clown, but deep down, he is truly a complicated man. I think there's far more to it than meets the eye Lily" Remus said.

"How do I fix it?" she said.

"Well, what did he say to you after that all happened?" he asked.

"He told me that it was wrong and inappropriate and that manhandling James' wife was not something that aligned with the promises he made to James" she said.

"He feels like she's betraying his best friend. If he's saying it was inappropriate, then maybe there's more to it… For Sirius anyway" he said. "Lily, I'm not sure how to say this… I think Sirius may have feelings for you" he said.

"No he doesn't. He can't" she said.

"He's been spending a lot of time here" Remus stated.

"Yeah out of some morbid promise the James that if something happened to him he'd help out" she said.

"I made that same promise" Remus said.

"And you've helped out too, obviously apart from the times when you can't"

"But Sirius is here _every day_. Now that I know this, there's nothing else to it. You need to see him, set things straight" Remus said.

"What do I say?" she asked.

"Whatever you think is necessary" he said.

"I don't want to cause any further problems between us Remus. Its been such a huge help having him around and I suppose, in some ways, he's become my best friend. I don't want to lose that" she said.

"So tell him. Tell him how you feel Lily, for Merlin's sake. And for all of us. For the kids" he said.

"You're right" she said, retrieving Sirius' coat he left behind and getting one of her own. "Where do you think he went?" she asked.

"There's one place I know he goes when he's upset" Remus said.

"James" she whispered.

Remus nodded.

"I'll keep an ear out for the kids. Judging by the amount of fun they had today I don't expect they'll be up till morning" he said with a smile.

Lily put on her coat and headed out the door, past a tent which Hagrid had erected from which loud snores could be heard. She got to the apparition point, and turned on the spot, coming to a stop just outside of Godric's Hollow.

She hadn't been back here since James' funeral. She instinctively knew where Sirius would be, so she headed up the main street and stopped out the front of the church where James' body lay in the graveyard beyond.

Lily moved through the kissing gate entrance to the church and made her way down the slippery path which was covered in trodden snow and ice. It hadn't snowed at her house but here, the snow was thick on the ground. She followed fresh footprints around the side of the building in the thick snow, careful not to fall, on her way to where the headstones stood. Silence filled the night air as Lily followed the tracks that had been laid not that long before her. When the footprints continued deep into the graveyard, she knew she had come to the right place to find Sirius.

Several rows over, just in the place she remembered James' headstone to be, she saw a faint glow of a wand. As if it were not a matter of urgency, Lily hurried through the snow, following the tracks deeper into the graveyard and along the row of headstones that marked the names of people who could no longer celebrate Christmas with their loved ones.

Just as she anticipated, she saw Sirius crouching by James' headstone, seemingly lost in his despair. She came upon him, placing her hand on his shoulder.

"Sirius?" she whispered.

He did not answer her, instead conjured up a chair, which Lily now noticed, was similar to the one he was sitting on, rather than crouching. She sat beside him, looking down at the headstone of her husband. The words engraved upon it, which she had never noticed before or known of were clearly visible.

 _James Potter, born 27 March 1960, died 31 October 1981  
The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death_

Lily read the words over and over, taking in their meaning. At first, she thought that it might have been something a death eater would have engraved upon their headstone, however, as she thought more carefully, the meaning came to her and fit well with James' outlook on the world.

"It means, living beyond death. Living after death" Sirius said, as if he had been reading her mind.

"Of course," she said.

"Something that we had spoken about, a bit" he said sadly.

"You and James had something that I don't think I will ever understand. You made promises to each other and vowed things to each other, but so did James and I" she began, not taking her eyes off the headstone. "We vowed to love each other for eternity and I doubt that I will stop loving James. He was the most incredibly perfect person and he loved Harry and I with every ounce of his being. But we also made promises, like the ones you made with him, about what might happen if one of us was to die" she said.

She heard a sharp intake of breath from Sirius before she went on.

"We both loved each other so so deeply, but we both knew that if one of us were to die, and the other stop living, _that_ would be the real tragedy. Sirius… up until you and I shared all of our thoughts and fears that night on Halloween, I hadn't truly been living. I felt so alone in the world, so lost, like I was simply existing, rather than living. I had lost my sense of who I was and what I wanted from this world, but in those brief few moments, when I put my arms around you and you held me in yours, it's like something ignited within me, like, somehow James was reminding me of my promise to him. My promise not to wallow in sadness and grief, but to embrace opportunities and hold onto things that are good in this world. Sirius, you reminded me what it felt like for someone, for a man, to hold me in that way, to make me _feel_ something that I hadn't felt in a very long time. It was the good. _You_ are the good in the world Sirius. And I think James knew that when he asked you to look after us. I think he knew that there would come a point where we would come together in a way that was more than before and I truly believe that he would be ok with that" she finished, suddenly realising for herself that perhaps _she_ felt something for him too that was beyond the confines of friendship.

She sat in silence for several long moments, thinking this over in her mind. Did she see Sirius as more than a friend? _Could_ she? She turned to look at him and his face was strewn with dry tears. It hurt her immensely to know that she may have caused him some kind of pain. She desperately wanted to say something, to make it right, to stop Sirius from hurting, because deep inside of her, she knew that for him to be hurting, hurt her too. It was then that she realised, as she looked back at the moments they had shared in the lead up to Halloween, there _had_ been unconscious flirting, game playing and teasing. The two of them had been playing house for so long and the only thing missing was the fact that they didn't even know how close they had become. The face she had come to rely on so much over the last 14 months no longer looked like the friend she had leant on for support, but like the man she _wanted_ to lean on more. The man who, up until quite recently, she had not noticed was quite good looking.

She turned away from Sirius, breaking herself out of the thoughts that were continuing in a direction she could not stop. Instead, she realised that time had come to leave, so she stood, constructed a wreath of Christmas roses with her wand, placed it on James' gravestone and whispered "goodbye" as she walked away.

Following her own steps back to the gates of the church, she wondered who she was saying goodbye to. Was it to Sirius, who sat in silence as she poured her heart out to him? Was it a casual goodbye to the friend who she would expect to hear from later on? Or was it beyond that? Was it a goodbye to James? To the life she had with him? To the hold that she had on her life with him, to her marriage?

She quickly exited through the gates, now eager to return home. She said all she had to say to Sirius, the rest was up to him. Somehow, she felt embarrassed that she had said so many things, opened so many doors for him to just sit in silence and not say anything. In a way, she was perhaps a little angry.

When she arrived on the outskirts of the village, she turned to disapparate and caught a glimpse of Sirius heading in her direction before disappearing with a crack.

When she arrived at her house, the house was dark, and Hagrid could still be heard snoring loudly from within his enormous tent.

She entered through the back door and saw that Remus had fallen asleep on the couch by the fireplace. She placed a blanket over him before heading to her room to change. She was soaking wet from trudging through the snow so decided that a shower might be a better idea.

After she was clean, dry, dressed and warm, she checked on the children before going to bed. She had half hoped that Sirius would come and tell her all the things she wanted him to, but as she fell asleep, she realised that perhaps Sirius was still caught between doing what was right for himself and doing what was right for his dead best friend. Lily knew that both of these things were the same, however, she also knew that it would be a long time before Sirius would too.

x-x

 **AN- I know these chapters are pretty small and I guess its because I haven't really thought this out too much. I am truly just writing this as it comes, knowing my final destination, but all the chapters are not planned out in any way. So I suppose i'm just writing till I get to the end of a 'section' and stop. I have loads more time today so hopefully may get another chapter out within 24 hours.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 – The spark of something new**

New years came and went without a trace of Sirius. Lily had begun to worry but Remus assured her he was at his house. By the 10th of January, Lily was still left wondering what would come of this _thing_ between herself and Sirius, if anything. Since the night at the graveyard, Lily had come to some kind of new place, mentally, where she could finally accept her new life without James. It was so odd, because as soon as she had told Sirius about her promise to James and her agreement not to cease living, it was like Lily had truly remembered to actually live again.

It wasn't that she had forgotten about James. James was everywhere she turned, and she still had her moments where she missed him terribly. But there had to come a point where she had to try and move forward, and now was that time.

She stood at the kitchen sink, clearing the dishes while Harry and Josie played, and Remus sat at the island bench sipping a cup of tea.

"He will come around" he said.

"Yeah, when? When I've finally had enough of waiting and given up?" she asked.

"When he's done sulking, perhaps?" Remus offered.

"Well, I'm not going to wait around forever" she said.

"Nor should you have to. You told Sirius everything you had to and it's not up to him to come to terms with that" Remus said, offering empathy.

"I just worry… What if he isn't interested in any of that? What if I put something out there that is completely off the mark?" she asked.

"Lily, I've known Sirius since we were 11. You're not off the mark. Spot on I think" he said.

"Well, it's been two weeks Remus. It's a brand-new year! I'm not some spinster waiting around for a man to decide my future. If Sirius isn't interested, then I'm giving up" she said, growing tired of wondering and waiting.

"So, is that what you would like me to tell him?" Remus asked.

"Not a chance. I'm not passing messages like we're in school. I'm simply venting my frustrations" she said.

"ok, ok I won't go running to Sirius" he said putting his hands up in surrender mode.

"Merlin, I'm so sorry Remus, you must be growing tired of hearing about this nonsense" she said.

"Well, Sirius doesn't really talk about it. I do tell him how the children are of course and mention that you're well also, but beyond that, he doesn't ask" he said.

"Perhaps you should tell him that the children are not ok, they miss him terribly and he should return to the _actual_ promise he made" she said.

"Which was?" he asked.

"To be there for me. That was what James asked him to do. That's what he asked both of you to do. You're the one holding up your end of the bargain and Sirius is honouring some unspoken agreement that he feels James might have alluded to" she said.

"Actually Lily, I truly feel like you're beyond all of that. You've come so far on your own and whenever I'm around, all we do is chat" he said.

"Don't you see, though Remus? It's not _help_ that I need. Its friendship, its human adult company. I love these children dearly, but if I have to read baa baa black sheep once more without some adult conversation in between, I might drown myself in the nearest bottle of fire whisky" she said with a slight chuckle.

Remus laughed as he placed his now empty cup in the sink beside Lily.

"Don't worry Lily…" he said, placing a hand on her shoulder, "I think that Sirius will come to his senses soon" he said.

"You all set for the full moon tonight?" she asked as he headed for the door.

"Don't worry about me, I'm an old hand at this" he said with a sad smile.

"I meant what I said yesterday Remus, I will find a cure" she said, recalling their conversation from the previous day.

 _Remus had approached Lily, frightened of what was to come. He had grown tired of this monthly dance, where he would prepare for the transformation, go through the torture, pray that he wouldn't hurt someone and spend the next three days recovering. He expressed his sorry and agony at his situation, never able to hold down a job, never able to move forward in any kind of positive way and have a family. All he wanted was children of his own, someone to care for and to care about him. Hs anger at Sirius for having it almost handed to him and not taking it was another driving factor in his feelings, but overall, he just hoped that he could find a way to be cured once and for all. At this, Lily had made a promise that no matter what, she would spend her life trying to come up with something that would make life a little easier for him. Even if she had to reach out to her old friend and potions expert, Severus Snape, who she learnt had recently come to the side of the good._

"I'll see you in a few days then?" she asked as he stepped outside.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. See you in a few days" he said before disapparating home.

Lily spent the rest of the day inside with the children, reading them stories and playing games. The snow was falling now, and it was incredibly cold outside. She had the fire burning in the fireplace and set a charm on it to continue burning throughout the entire day. As night time came, she wondered how Remus was doing but tried to cast it out of her mind. When the children were in bed, she set about on her plans to help find a cure.

She sat at her desk in her room and pulled out some parchment and a quill and began to write a letter.

 _Dear Severus,  
I know it has been a long time since we have spoken, and I guess a lot has changed for us over the years. I have been made aware of your true allegiance and am extremely glad to hear that you're on the side of good. The young girl in me wishes for nothing but the best for her best friend.  
The reason I am writing is to ask for your help. I understand that in recent years you have become a rather skilled potions master, and if you will remember, I was quite adept at potion making myself. I was hoping that in time, we may work together and begin to develop some ideas for a cure for lycanthropy. I have included, attached to this letter, detailed notes that I was working on prior to everything that happened the Halloween before last for you to review.  
I hope you are well Severus and I truly hope you find it in your schedule to work with me in this feat for the greater good.  
Best regards,  
Lily Potter. _

Lily took several large roles of parchment out of a safe in the wall before duplicating them, replacing the originals and tying them, along with the letter into a bundle. She thought it would be a feat for her owl to handle but she figured she had no choice. Putting on her coat, she headed through the house and into the backyard where a small owl house stood about a yard away from the house. She tied the package to the leg of her owl Hedwina before providing strict instructions.

"I know its cold out, but I need this to get to Severus Snape as soon as you can. Understand?" she asked.

The owl bowed its head slightly before ruffling its feathers and hopping to the doorway. It spread its enormous wings and flew off into the night, hopefully sparking the beginning of something magnificent.

Lily headed back towards the house, stopping to take in the fresh cool air. She closed her eyes and breathed in through her nose, allowing the cold air to fill her lungs. In a technique she learnt from the healer who gave her the blue potions, she held onto the air in her lungs for a few seconds before slowly letting it out in a long slow controlled breath. She imagined all the stress leaving her body along with the air and once her breath was all blown out, she felt freer.

Before she opened her eyes, she heard a crack and immediately, her senses were on alert. Her eyes flew open and she looked through the darkness to the only place in her yard where apparition was possible. She left her wand inside, so she couldn't create any light beyond what was coming from the candle that was inside the owlery.

"Who's there?" she called into the night.

"Lily?" came the voice.

"Sirius? Is that you?" she called, identifying the voice immediately.

"It is" he said, the tone of formality still n his voice.

She headed back towards the house, towards where she knew Sirius to be.

"Is there something you need?" she asked, when she reached where the light from inside penetrated out onto the patio and beyond to the snow.

"I… I just came to check on you" he said, hesitation in his voice.

"Well, I'm fine" she said.

"What are you doing outside?" he asked.

"Sending a letter" she said shortly.

"Without your wand?" he asked.

"I wasn't expecting visitors and this house has wards all around, apart from that one spot" she said.

She could have sworn she heard Sirius mutter something about Voldemort under his breath, but she chose to ignore it and head for the door.

With a hand on the door handle, Lily turned to see that Sirius hadn't moved from where he stood in the snow.

"Are you going to come in?" she asked, gentler than the last few things she said to him. She wanted more than anything for him to come inside, to sit with her and talk about all that has happened. He seemed to hesitate, pondering this question for a while before nodding and moving towards the two stairs that lead to the patio.

In the warmth of the house, Lily hung her coat on the coat rack and removed her boots, slipping them under the seat beside the door. Sirius did the same, making it overly obvious that he was avoiding getting too close to her at all costs.

Lily entered the kitchen and put on a pot of hot chocolate which she knew Sirius loved. It felt odd to feel awkward around him, but if only he would talk to her, then things didn't have to be so. They could either return to how things were or… not. The 'not' was something Lily had thought a lot about but still was no closer to figuring out exactly what it might look like. Would they, _could_ they become a couple? Would Harry and Josie end up calling him their dad? What would she say to Harry? How would she explain it to the wizarding word? There were so many things that were still so unclear, but the only thing she did know was that she desperately wanted to know where Sirius stood on all of this. Currently he stood in the doorway between the entry to the kitchen and the laundry room where they entered the house.

"Are you going to stay there or are you going to come in?" she asked.

Sirius nodded without looking directly at Lily and moved past her to sit at the island bench where Remus sat earlier that day.

"I uh… Remus said you might need me to come check on you tonight" he said.

"Oh, did he now?" she said, cursing him in her mind for blabbing.

"Is that not… I mean… Did you need me to come?" he asked.

Lily poured hot chocolate into two cups and sat one in front of where Sirius sat. She remained standing in the kitchen, leaning back against the counter, watching Sirius across the kitchen.

"I've been waiting for you to come around since Christmas, Sirius" she said.

For the first time since they were in Lily's living room, Sirius looked at Lily and the two were momentarily caught looking into each other's eyes. Lily knew in that moment what was to come. Maybe not now, but in time, she and Sirius would be together. She could feel it. A spark travelled from her head down to her toes and it was all she could do not to act on it. She remained calm and waited for him to speak.

"You need to understand something…" he began.

"I do, I understand. Sirius, I understand your loyalty to James, I do. I have it too. I stood in a church and vowed in front of everyone I know to be loyal to James. _Till death_ Sirius. But he is gone. It doesn't mean I love him any less. He asked you to take care of me. That's all I've asked of you too" she said.

"That's not it" he said.

"Well what is it Sirius, because I thought you were my best friend. I thought I could count on you, but you're nowhere to be seen lately" she said, tears springing into her eyes at that last sentence.

"I'm bloody terrified of doing something that will end all of this" he said, a little louder than speaking but not quite a yell.

"What could be worse than doing nothing?" she asked, a betraying tear rolling down her cheek.

"Everything, anything" he said, looking away from her. "I'd rather… I'd rather be your friend, be Harry and Josie's god father, than act on my feelings and lose you all forever" he said.

"I'd rather live my life instead of hiding from the things that worry me" Lily said softly, turning away from him to hide her tears. This was it. He was putting a stop to whatever this was before it had even had a chance to begin. The things he feared would not come true, because after this, there was no way things would ever go back to how they were.

When she turned around, Sirius was no longer sitting at the island bench, but standing on the other side of it, across from where Lily stood, with nothing between them but space. She thought about crossing that space, about putting her arms around him, feeling his warmth and finding comfort in his arms, but she knew that if it was to be, he would have to be the one to initiate it.

"Please don't cry Lil" he said, stepping forward and wiping a stray tear with his thumb.

His touch was electric to her but only made her tears worse.

She closed her eyes, hoping that he would just leave her alone to deal with this by herself. He was saying no to her, she could feel it. She could not bear the embarrassment of having him reject her when she had so clearly laid her feelings out there on the table. Or had she? Had she been clear in what she wanted? How she felt? As she pondered this, she became startled when she felt both of Sirius' hands grasp the side of her face, his thumbs both clearing away tears that had been falling.

She opened her eyes to see Sirius standing there, so close to her, looking into her eyes. She took a breath in and felt her heart rate accelerate.

He brushed her hair back from her face and just when Lily felt as though she could no longer handle his touch, he pulled her into his chest, holding her against him, in much the same way they did on Halloween. She reached around and held onto him too, crying into his chest, taking in his scent, feeling his warmth, breathing in everything that he was.

She listened to the sound of his heart in his chest which was beating rather fast, the same speed as her own. He was feeling it too. He felt it as well. The pull, the drive, the magnetism that for whatever reason had grown between them and made her want to be with him all the time.

The two stood for a long time, holding on, breathing in, comforting one another until Lily's breath slowed and her tears stopped. Letting go just enough, Sirius held onto the sides of Lily's face once again, wiping the tears that had smudged all over her face.

"If we do this, there is no turning back" he said.

Lily looked up into Sirius' face and nodded. She knew what she had to lose, but also so desperately wanted to experience all that she had to gain.

Lily saw Sirius' eyes flit from her own eyes to her lips and she knew what was coming. She was ready. She was eager.

He leant down and ever so gently, pressed his lips to hers. She closed her eyes, taking in the moment. She pulled herself close to him, but as soon as it had begun, it stopped.

"I want to do this properly" he said, answering Lily's unspoken question.

"I don't understand" she said.

"I want to take you out, properly" he said.

"Like on a date?" she asked.

"If this is really what you want Lily, I want to do it right. No mistakes. I love you, I have loved you for so long, it just took some time for me to realise" he said.

"Sirius… I.." she began, but he stopped her short.

"Please don't say anything" he said, stepping back from her.

Lily stood stunned as the two of them said nothing, before Sirius spoke again.

"I'll pick you up on Thursday?" he asked.

Lily just nodded.

Sirius hesitated, looking to Lily once more before turning and heading for the door the yard.

"Do you have to go?" she asked.

"I think its best. I want to do this right and at the moment, if I stay, all my plans go out the window" he said.

She watched him leave the kitchen and watched out the window as he walked across the patio, down the steps and out into the night. There was a crack and she knew he was gone.

That night, Lily laid in bed running over the events in her head again and again. Sirius had kissed her… And she liked it. There was a part of her that thought this was utterly absurd and she should have never taken a step down that path, however, there was another part of her, a much larger one, that was egging her on, driving her to continue, to run as fast as she could down this path that could one contain good things.

For a little while, she thought of James and wondered what he would have thought about all of this. Lily knew her husband, she knew he would only want happiness for her and for his best friend and if it meant that they found it together, in each other, then Lily thought that would be even better. She didn't know how long was the 'usual' time to wait after losing a life partner before beginning something with someone else, but for some reason, this all felt so _right_ for Lily.

The following two days dragged on incredibly slowly for Lily. Sirius came by and took Harry to the playground in the town for a little while, with no mention of what happened n Lily's kitchen or even a hint that anything had grown between them. Harry was none the wiser, he was just happy to be seeing _his_ Sirius again.

On Thursday, Remus had recovered from his full moon escapades and come over for lunch.

"You look dreadful" Lily said as she let him in the door.

"I look better than I feel" he said sadly.

"What happened Remus?" she asked, concerned.

"The wolf got loose in the forest and had a pretty wild night" he said.

"Remus, I'm so sorry" she said, handing him a cup of tea.

"Oh, never mind. It's nothing I can't handle" he said. "So, what's new with you?" he asked.

"Well, that's what I have asked you here for today. I need a favour" she said.

"Anything, you know that" he said.

"Can you watch the kids tonight?" she asked.

"Sure. What have you got on?" he asked.

"Sirius asked me out on a date" she said, casually.

"A… What? A date? When?" he asked.

"The night you were here… He came by, apparently you had asked him to check on me. So, he came by and we talked" she said.

"That's great Lily, I really hope you two can make each other happy. Merlin knows we all need a bit of cheer" he said.

"I hope so too. It feels so odd to think about moving on, you know, without James, but I can't spend my whole life wallowing in self-pity. It's only been a year and a few months, but I feel like it's right" she said.

"I can see that… Well, I would be honoured to take care of the little ones. What time do you want me here?" he asked.

"He's coming by at 7, so if you come back around 6 so I can get ready without a baby crawling up my legs that would be wonderful" she said, smiling.

"I like this" Remus said.

"Like what?" she asked, giggling.

"This, you, laughing. It's nice to see. I just hope my idiot friend doesn't mess this up" he said.

"I'm more worried about messing it up myself" she said, as they both laughed.

 **AN- coming up... the date! And maybe a bit of Snape?**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN- This chapter took a long time to get out. It was so hard for me to write and I still don't feel 100% happy about it, but here it is. Enjoy.**

 **Chapter 7 - The date**

Lily was busy getting ready for the date, already running a bit behind the schedule she had made for herself. She applied a whole face full of make-up then hastily removed it, thinking it was just too much. While she and Sirius had known each other for years, she still felt the pressure to dress up and impress him. She decided on light natural make-up and tied her red hair back off her face, letting most of it hang in curls. It was quite long now, almost making it to her waist, and she made a mental note to get it cut soon. She chose a midnight blue dress which fit nicely but not too revealing, after all, she wasn't 20 anymore.

As 7pm approached, Lily became more and more flustered. She came out of her room with her shoes in her hand and a bracelet in her mouth, stuffing the essentials into a small bag she found shoved in the back of her closet.

"You look fantastic" Remus said, holding a struggling Josie in his arms.

"Too much?" she asked.

"No way, perfect" he said.

"You fed her the broccoli?" she asked.

"Yes, and the stewed apples… Harry had his pasta and is now eating his apple pie" Remus said.

"You're too good Remus" she said.

"It's only been 55 minutes Lily, we'll see how things are in a few hours" he said.

"Oh… Well, do you want me to..." she began.

"No. Go. Have a good time" Remus scolded.

I'm not too sure what time I expect to be back, but if I can I will floo you and let you know" she said.

"Don't even think about it. Just enjoy your night out" he said.

"Thank you again, Remus. I know this must be very strange for you" she said.

"No, it's nice. I'm happy for you both, truly. And I know that James would too, once he got over the shock of it all" he said.

"Yes, I can just imagine his face" she said, smiling to herself.

Outside, was the sound of an engine pulling up. Lily waited until the doorbell sounded and headed for the door, kissing Harry and Josie goodbye as she went.

She pulled open the door and her jaw almost hit the floor when she saw Sirius standing before her. He was a picture of his younger, extremely handsome self. His hair fell into his eyes in a neat, carefree kind of way and when he looked at her, he smiled as though he was seeing her for the first time as someone new.

"Now, don't forget about her curfew mister" came Remus' voice from behind Lily, preventing her from standing there prolonging what had the potential to be a very awkward silence.

"Oh, don't be silly, Remus" Lily said.

Sirius just grinned.

"You ready?" he asked her.

"Absolutely" she said.

Lily put on her coat and stepped outside into the night air. On the driveway stood a smart looking black car.

"Where did you get this from?" she asked.

"I borrowed it" he said, still smiling.

"Well, its lovely" she said, as Sirius opened the passenger door for her. She hesitated before lowering herself into the seat, wondering if it would be ok to kiss him. She decided against it, figuring the opportunity would present itself again later. She fought hard against the primal part of her that so desperately wanted to grab him and kiss him. While he walked around to the driver's door, she checked herself in the mirror and carefully adjusted her lipstick before Sirius got into the car.

"So, what are the plans?" she asked him.

"I thought I would surprise you" he said.

"Oh, I see" she said. "So, not even a clue?" she asked.

"No way" he said, looking to her and smiling.

The two of them sped through the countryside and into the city in half the time it would ordinarily take. Lily understood this to be something similar to the Knight Bus that she and James used frequently before having Harry. A vehicle that muggles cannot see, can drive very fast and make random objects jump out of the way.

The drive was somewhat awkward, with Lily trying to make small talk that was mostly centred around the children. The more she thought about it, the more she realised this date activity might not be the greatest idea. ' _Isn't a first date when people take the opportunity to get to know each other_?' she thought. ' _We know each other better than anyone'_. She soon realised that there was no way she was getting out of this night without some serious awkward silences.

As Sirius entered the city and the lights twinkled from buildings where the occupants were busy going about their lives, Lily made a mental list of topics to talk about when things became quiet. She wanted this night to be a success more than anything.

When Sirius parked the car, Lily realised they were outside of a muggle theatre company.

"We're here" he said.

"What is this place?" she asked.

"You'll see" he said, getting out and walking around to her door. Before she could open it, Lily had reached for the handle and opened it herself. Sirius frowned.

"I'm supposed to do that" he said.

"Sirius, this isn't the 50's, I can get the door myself" she said with a smile. "You know, women's rights and all" she added.

"Right. Well…" he said, waiting as Lily put her coat on.

As they walked the short distance from the car to the theatre entrance, Lily could tell that Sirius was nervous.

"Is everything ok?" she asked.

"What? Yes, fine. You?" he asked.

"I'm fine… Look… Sirius, this doesn't have to be like this. Just because it's a _date_ it doesn't mean there's pressure to do something or _not_ to do something. We've been friends for years. It doesn't have to get weird _now_ " she said, hoping it was the right thing.

At this, Sirius nodded in agreement.

"You're right, you're completely right, I'm way overthinking all of this", he said as his shoulders seemed to relax a little. Lily was grateful for that moment, before they really got started, because there would be nothing worse than Sirius feeling pressured to perform some kind of 'first date ritual' for her. Lily held out her hand, which Sirius took eagerly. His hand was warm and slightly rough in hers, which she liked.

They approached the ticket booth and Sirius bought two tickets to the show that was playing. While he paid, struggling with muggle currency, Sirius never let go of Lily's hand, instead, absentmindedly stroked her hand with his thumb. It felt nice to Lily, and so normal and natural. Like the two of them had been together for a long time and they were just out on a date.

They entered the hall, which was grand and mostly dark except for a few candles burning on each table.

"Where do you want to sit?" Sirius asked her.

"Hmm" she looked around, thinking about the table that would have the best view, without being in full view of everyone behind them. "Perhaps somewhere close to the front? On this side" she asked, indicating to one side of the room.

"Good idea" he said, leading the way, not letting go of her hand.

The seating was set out into small round tables, mostly two seats to a table, with the occasional three or four. The pair sat close to the edge of the room off to one side, near to the front so they could see.

"So, are you going to tell me what this is?" she asked, taking off her coat.

"It's a magic show" he said with a grin.

"A muggle magic show?" she whispered, as the room filled with people.

Sirius just nodded, his mischievous grin showing how much fun he thought this was going to be.

"I'm intrigued. I've never been to one before" she said, intrigued by how excited Sirius was for muggle magic.

"Me neither. This has a dinner package as well, so I thought we'd see the show, eat some dinner and maybe get some dessert at a nice little place around the corner" he said.

"Sounds perfect" she said, thinking that this is exactly what they needed. There wouldn't be a need for the 'awkward conversation topic list' that she had come up with, because they wouldn't be talking much during the show and afterwards, they would most likely talk about the show.

As it turned out, while they waited for the show to begin, Lily and Sirius made conversation quite easily, talking about everything they had ever heard about muggle magic, with Lily filling him in from a muggleborn perspective.

As they leant towards each other to talk in whispers and avoid muggle's overhearing, Lily became very aware of how close they were. It was a heady feeling and she wondered if he would mind so much if she just leant a bit closer and kissed him. The more he spoke, the more she watched how his lips moved and wondered if they would feel the same as they did the other night when they kissed or maybe if she kissed him more forcefully than he kissed her, would they feel different? She was dying to know.

It was something she would have done if she had been somewhere with James, just leant forward and kiss him mid-sentence, just because.

She seized the opportunity in a moment of spontaneity and leant closer to him, taking her hand and cupping the side of his face before leading him closer to her and softly pressing her lips to his. When he didn't hesitate, she ever so subtly moved her mouth to find another, more comfortable angle in which to absorb this sensation of kissing Sirius. After what felt like an incredible few moments, where she realised that Sirius Black was an amazing kisser, without actually going right in for a passionate kiss, they parted, breathy and flushed, the both of them.

"I had to do that" she said.

Sirius was about to speak when the lights on the stage lit up and the show began. Instead, he just smiled, a grin that was almost brighter than the lights shining on the stage. It made Lily melt inside. His lips _did_ feel the same, but also different. She wanted more, but for now, she would have to wait.

Throughout the show, their food orders were taken, and their meals brought out. The food was delicious and the show fantastic. Lily didn't know if these people were in fact witches and wizards pretending to do muggle magic, but they sure had her convinced.

When they were finished their meals and their plates taken away, Lily excused herself to go and freshen up. Upon her return, she thought that her chair had been moved, ever so slightly towards Sirius' chair. She didn't mind a bit.

She sat down to enjoy the rest of the show and was delighted when Sirius took her hand in his. As he stroked her hand with his thumb, much the same was as before, Lily was dreadfully aware that he had brushed against her wedding and engagement rings a few times.

She had meant to take them off, she knew that it was most likely inappropriate to leave them on, but out of habit, they had remained on. She tensed up and wondered if she should excuse herself once again to take them off. She wished more than anything that she could take out her wand and banish them to her handbag, wordlessly, but she knew that surely, Sirius would notice. She thought that he was probably thinking similar things to what she was thinking and was feeling foolish for not remembering.

The show came to an end and when the lights came on, Lily stood with everyone else and clapped for the performers.

Helping her with her coat, Sirius stayed very close to Lily as the crowds dispersed from the theatre. He made her feel very safe in an unfamiliar environment, which only made her feelings for him grow. This was now far beyond a friendship, obviously because they had now shared two kisses, there was definitely no turning back, but he was attentive and thoughtful, in a way that friends weren't. She wondered if he treated all his dates this way but closed that idea off in her mind. This was Sirius, he had dated loads of women in the last several years.

He was in fact, quite the ladies' man, which made Lily question briefly, what he wanted with her, a single mother with two small children, when he could have any woman, muggle or witch, that he wanted.

They left the building and stood in the street in the light snow.

"Do you want to drive or are you happy to walk?" he asked.

"It's not too cold, I'm happy to walk" he answered.

"It's not very far anyway" he said, taking her hand and heading down the street.

"That show was incredible, do you think they're muggles or are they wizards? Lily asked him.

"Definitely muggles. None of those tricks were real" he said.

"Of course, but I thought that they were very clever. The muggles were in complete disbelief. And it was funny too" she said.

They chatted casually about the show as they walked the block or so to the restaurant. The conversation flowed nicely and by the time they arrived, it felt like no time had passed.

They entered the restaurant and were directed to a small table next to the window, looking out at the passers-by.

"Would you like the dinner menu?" a lady asked in a thick French accent.

"We would like to see the wine and dessert menu if you please" Lily said.

"Very well" she answered as she left, coming back a short time later with the menus.

They ordered from both menus and sat patiently waiting for it to arrive.

The wine came first, and Lily sipped the bubbling fruity liquid, humming her approval.

"I don't know why I don't drink this more often" she said.

"I'd prefer a butterbeer, just quietly, but this isn't too bad" he said.

Lily held up her glass, and Sirius followed suit.

"To new beginnings?" she said.

"To the future" Sirius said, as they touched their glasses together with a small 'ding'.

"So, given that this is our first date, I think we ought to ask some official first date questions" Sirius said, smiling.

"Oh, really? Go ahead" she said.

"Well, where did you go to school?" he asked.

"I attended a co-educational boarding school. How about you?" she asked.

"I also attended boarding school" he said.

"How did you find it?" she asked.

"It was great. My mates and I were always getting up to no good, annoying the caretaker, that kind of thing" he said.

"Oh, right, well, I had some people like that at my school, they were the most irritating, arrogant group of boys. I bet you weren't anything like that?" she asked.

"Oh, no, me and my friends were not like that at all" he said, grinning.

"I'm pleased" she said, grinning back.

"Do you have siblings?" he asked.

"One. A sister. We don't get along" she said.

"Oh, I see. My brother and I didn't get along either" he said.

"What happened to him?" she asked, feigning curiosity.

"He got caught up in the wrong crowd. Paid with his life" he said.

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that" she said placing her hand on his and stroking it gently. Sirius looked down and raised an eye brow in approval.

"I see what you did there" he said.

"I don't know what you're talking about" she said.

"Showing off your moves" he said.

"I don't have any moves, just genuine concern for your feelings" she said, smiling. It was quite fun banter they had going on and Lily enjoyed it.

"So, enough of that sad story, lets talk about something more exciting" he said… "Do you want to have children someday?" he asked.

"Ohh, the heavy stuff?" she asked.

"Of course" he said.

"I already have two children. I hope that won't be a problem" she said.

"Are you kidding? I love kids" he said.

"That's great" she said.

"Any more kids on the cards for you?" he asked.

Suddenly Lily was caught off guard. She never thought of having any more children. But of course, Sirius would want to have children of his own. Why hadn't she thought of that? Was she willing to have more children? Did she want anymore? Would she have them for him if that's what he wanted?

"I uh… I don't know. I hadn't thought about it that much… I'm not too sure" she said. "How about you?" she asked.

"Perhaps if it felt right" he said, shrugging.

"So, what do you do for a job?" she asked, continuing this first date questioning façade.

"I'm in law enforcement. Top secret of course" he said.

"Sounds intriguing" she said.

"Its quite dull at the moment. I already caught most of the bad guys so there's not much else to do. I have loads of time off" he said.

"So, you're a hot shot then?" she asked.

Sirius smiled and shrugged.

"Can't say. If I told you, I'd have to modify your memory" he said.

"What on earth do you mean? How do you modify someone's memory? Is this the top-secret business you were talking about?" she asked, suppressing a giggle.

"Well, yes, quite the government conspiracy" he winked.

Lily and Sirius laughed at this, uncontrollably. It was the best time Lily had had in forever and just to laugh made it amazing.

After many annoyed looks from around the restaurant, the pair managed to calm themselves and finish their wine.

"I think we ought to leave" Lily said.

"I think that if we don't, we'll be asked to" Sirius said.

Lily stood and shrugged on her coat, wondering what could be next. Sirius had told her what his plans had been, however he didn't elaborate beyond dessert.

Lily paid, which was after some convincing on her part. She wasn't a woman who allowed a man to open her door or pay for her every need. With the money from the Ministry and all the Potter money, plus her Evans family money, Lily had more money that she would ever be able to spend.

As the couple left the restaurant, Sirius took Lily by the hand and kissed it gently.

"I've had an amazing time" Lily said.

"Incredible" Sirius said, stopping on the sidewalk to face Lily.

"I'm not ready to go back to my real life" she said, sadly.

Sirius looked into her eyes for a moment and Lily wondered what he was thinking. She had been honest, she wasn't ready to go home, back to reality, but she wasn't ready to go and jump into bed with him either. She wondered how she might convey that to him, when she had just said the line that most people use when they want to shag someone after a date. This wasn't like that though. This was like she was living a different life, like this one magical night was out of a fairy tale and as soon as she went home, it would all end.

"Lil, this is your real life" he said, reaching up and toying with har hair that had been resting on her shoulder. "This can be as real, or not, as you want it to be" he said.

The more she thought about these words, the more she realised that it might not be a good idea if this becomes more real than it is right now. She imagined all the reactions from people in the magical world, when Lily Potter, the woman-who-lived, starts dating her dead husband's best friend, like they were secretly shagging all along. She knew how people's minds worked. She wasn't ready to face that kind of ridicule just yet.

"I want this to be real Sirius. I've had an amazing night" she said, wondering how to convey to Sirius what she needed to say. "I don't want this to end, not tonight, not ever, but what are we going to say to the world when they find out? There will be a lot of talk" she said.

"Let them talk. Now more than ever, I know what it is that I want" he said, stepping closer to her, wrapping his arms around her. Their noses were inches away form each other and Lily could feel that magnetism again. That force that drew her to him.

She looked to his eyes and then to his lips. The lips that she had kissed twice now and desperately wanted to kiss again. She leant forward, tilting her head slightly and kissed him. This time, it wasn't soft or slow or brief. Although it began that way, Lily didn't resist the urges she felt to make it more. Her hands were in his hair and his were on her back, holding her close. The passion was intense, but Lily couldn't pull away. It was the first time she had been kissed like this in a very long time. While James had been a great kisser, he had never been as passionate as she was. After what felt like forever, they parted, both panting and out of breath.

"If you're trying to brush me off, you're not doing it well" Sirius said, not stepping away, keeping the closeness between them.

"Merlin, Sirius, no, that's not what I'm trying to do at all" she said.

"Please Lily, tell me what you want, because whatever it is, I'll do it. I just want to be with you" he said, closing his eyes.

"I want you Sirius. I want to be with you. Its just complicated. I am always watched, no matter where I go, I have people watching me. Can you imagine what they would post in the daily prophet? ' _Lily Potter, shacking up with her dead husband's best friend, who knows, maybe they were sleeping together behind his back all along, what if it was a conspiracy to kill James so they could be together'_ " she said.

"Merlin, Lily, your mind is working overtime. Here's what I think they'll say", he cleared his throat, "' _Lily Potter and Sirius Black, find happiness together after tragedy'"_ he said.

"Could we just… I don't know, stick to the muggle world, not tell anyone. Just yet. Give it time. Give _us_ time to figure out what this all means, before we go telling anyone" she said.

"As much as I want to shout from the rooftops that I am dating you, I will hold off until you're ready" he said. "But eventually, I am going to want to take you to all the magical places I know of, and there may be people there" he said, smiling.

"I suppose at some point, I'll have to take these off" she said, holding up the hand that she wore her rings on.

"That is something that is completely up to you" he said, holding her hand in his and walking in the direction of the car.

"I can't wear them forever. I mean, they _are_ James, they're special. I'll always love him, but somehow it feels wrong now. Kissing you while wearing these rings" she said.

"James is a huge part of both of our lives. Your marriage to him doesn't just cease to exist because he died, Lil" he said.

"I know, but how can I move forward with you, if I still hold onto this symbol of everything that me and James were?" she asked.

"You don't have to let go of James. In fact, I'd prefer that you didn't. Harry and Josie deserve to know how much their mum loved their dad" he said stepping to the side of the road where the car was parked. "If you just stop wearing the ring, stop talking about James or pretend like he wasn't the greatest love of your life, they'll be worse for it" he said.

"Well…" she said, getting into the car, "I suppose you're right. I think that in time, everything will sort of just happen. I'm completely overthinking all of this" she said.

"Yes, I think you are" Sirius said, starting the car.

"So, what now then?" Lily asked, changing the tone of the date.

"Well, to be honest, I only planed up until this point" he said, pulling out onto the road.

"Right" she said, sad that this was about to be over.

"If you want, we can find a bar or something and grab some drinks?" he asked.

"Like, a muggle bar?" she asked.

"The very same" he said.

"I think that sounds great" she said.

Sirius drove part of the way through the city, glancing around continuously for a sign of a bar that looked appropriate.

"Karaoke?" he asked, slowing down as he approached a corner pub with a neon sign that read ' _KARAOKE THURSDAYS 9pm TILL LATE'_.

"Looks good to me" she said, excited by the thought of staying out late.

Sirius pulled the car into the parking lot beside the pub and looked down at what they were both wearing.

"Not really appropriate for a pub…" he said.

"Never fear" Lily said, reaching into her small bag, completely too far to be possible.

"Undetectable extension?" he asked. "Very clever" he said.

"A girl has to be prepared" she said, pulling out a pair of jeans, a long sleeve shirt and a jumper.

"Well, a guy also has to be prepared…" he said, reaching to the back and getting some jeans of his own out of a bag.

"What on earth were we both planning for?" she asked.

"To be fair, I always keep extra clothes with me, just in case you need me to help with the kids. Now you… I think your plans are far more sinister" he said, smiling.

Perhaps he was right. When Lily packed the extra clothes into her bag, she packed them in case she didn't make it home that night. It had been on a silly whim, wondering how far she might feel like going with this first date in the moment.

"Well, Sirius, it is snowing and what would I have done if I had fallen over and ruined my dress?" she asked, slightly red in the face. She most definitely _was_ planning on going home that night. Not that she wasn't attracted to Sirius, in fact, it was all she could think of for most of the night. She was just concerned with jumping too far too fast and finding herself in over her head.

"Turn around" she said as she slipped off her shoes. Sirius obeyed and turned to look out the window while she slid her jeans on under her dress.

"Could you unzip me?" she asked.

Without a word, he turned around, warmed up his hands and carefully unzipped her dress, from her neck to her waist.

Lily felt a shiver run through her spine, as he slid the zipper down, his fingers brushing against her flesh as he did.

"You're doing that on purpose" she said.

"I am completely innocent" he said.

"Well, turn around again so I can finish"

He turned, and she quickly changed. After she was done, Sirius laid his seat back a bit and leant back to unbutton his pants.

"I'll just…" she began, awkwardly turning herself towards the door.

"You don't have to turn around" he said with a wink as he removed his pants and changed into his jeans.

"Right" Lily said, "After all this struggling and changing, I need a real drink. Shal we?" she said, indicating to the entrance to the pub.

"Please" he said, opening his door to the rush of cold air.

They both put their coats on as quickly as possible and headed for the pub. Inside, it was dark and loud, but Lily was intrigued.

They headed to the bar, which occupied half the left-hand wall, ordered two drinks and went to find a place to sit. On the right side of the room, there were tables with bench seats, where people sat to have conversations away from the music. Beyond the tables and the bar was a more open area with a stage occupying the entire wall at the end. There were small round tables along the walls with a dance floor in the middle.

Lily thought this was a nice place to listen to music, dance a little and have a good time. There was a young girl on the stage slaughtering one of Lily's favourite muggle songs, but she didn't seem to mind. For a small pub, there were a lot of people gathered on the dance floor watching the karaoke, and Lily took Sirius by the hand to join them.

For the next couple of hours, Lily and Sirius danced, drank and had a great time. The singers were mostly atrocious, however it just made it more fun. She lost count of how many times she and Sirius had kissed. Each time, becoming more and more daring. She felt like she was 19 again, happy, carefree and able to do what was fun, instead of what was right or safe.

Eventually, the bar tender made an announcement that the pub would close shortly, and everyone had to leave.

Lily and Sirius, at this point had had too much to drink to drive home, so, when they left, Sirius made sure the car was safe, and the two of them walked a short way down the street to find a place to disapparate.

Standing in an ally, hand in hand, Lily kissed Sirius on the cheek as he turned on the spot, pulling Lily with him into nothingness.

The pair arrived in a place that Lily recognised immediately as Sirius' house.

"What are we doing here, Siri?" she asked.

I don't think either of us are in a fit state to come face to face with Remus and the kids. Do you?" he asked.

"No, I suppose you're right" she said. They were both pretty drunk.

Lily took out her wand, casting a warming spell lazily which heated up the small house instantly.

"Genius" Sirius said, taking off his shoes and throwing them towards the front door.

The living room was small, with an adjoining kitchen and dining room and a bedroom through a door with an ensuite bathroom. Lily remembered it from years ago when she had visited with James to talk about the danger they were in from Voldemort. It was something that Lily didn't want to think of right now, so she looked around for something they could do.

Even though she had said to herself earlier in the night that she did not want to jump straight into bed with Sirius on their first date, in this moment, looking into Sirius' bedroom at his oversize bed, she could think of one thing that she wanted to do right now.

Sirius went over to the kitchen and took two large glasses out of the cupboard. He filled the both with water and took two potions from another cupboard.

"This is a hangover potion. If you drink this now, you will feel very tired, but you won't be hung over in the morning" he said.

"Ok" she said, wondering if he was ready to finish the date and go to sleep or if there was a chance he was thinking along the same lines as she was.

She took the potion from him and held it in her hand for a minute before sitting it on the bench.

"I don't know if I'm ready to be tired. I've had an amazing night Sirius. I don't know if I want to end it" she said, backing him into the bench and beginning to unbutton his shirt. She was no longer the shy Lily she was several hours ago. She was now fuelled by alcohol and lust and the idea of a potion to make her sleepy was not something she was willing to entertain.

"I really truly would love nothing more than to continue this date, well into the morning. Merlin, its all I've thought about at several points through the night. But, Lil, you don't want to do this. Not yet" he said, holding her hands in his, keeping them against his chest.

"I do. You don't know how much I do, Sirius. Its been such a long time, I…" she started.

"I know that you think you want this. I know that it has been a long time since James, but trust me when I say this, we can't do this tonight. When you're sober, if you still feel the same, I'll floo Remus, he can stay with the kids a little longer and you've got me all day tomorrow for whatever you want" he said.

Lily looked at him, her eyes slightly off focus. She knew he was right. She had told herself earlier that night that it wasn't the right time for them. Now because she had several drinks under her belt, she was ready to jump him. She felt so stupid.

"Godric, Sirius, I'm sorry. I'm a stupid woman… I think I just miss the feeling of someone close to me. Will you lay with me, at least?" she asked, picking up the potion.

"Dot be silly, you're not stupid. I mean, look at me. Even I want to shag me. Come, drink your potion and I will lay with you" he said, picking up his own.

They clinked their vials before taking the potion like a shot of alcohol.

"That is vile" she said.

"Here, drink this" he said, handing her the water.

"Thank you" she said, skulling the water almost completely in one go.

"Quite the lady" Sirius said.

"Oh, you've known me far too long for me to be concerned with trying to be ladylike" she said.

"I'll get you something to wear" he said, laughing and heading to his bedroom.

Sirius handed her some trackpants and a shirt before she went into the bathroom to change. Within minutes, she had taken care of business, changed into Sirius' clothes, stopped to smell them and exited back into the bedroom. Sirius had turned out all the lights except for one that Lily used to get into his bed. She was beginning to feel the effects of the potion and found herself to be sobering up as fast as she was feeling tired.

She laid down in the comfort of his bed and he laid behind her, spooning her, with his arm around her. It was intimate and intense and just what she needed. The whole time she felt as though she needed to shag him, it was just intimacy and closeness she was craving. While shagging him was still something that was on the cards, it was definitely not what she needed in that moment.

She closed her eyes, listening to the sound of Sirius breathing, feeling the warmth of his body pressed against her from the top of her back all the way to her feet.

She went over the events of the night in her mind and she knew in this moment, as her head began to clear of the alcohol completely, that she would be lost to him completely. She was pulled right in. She was falling completely head over heels in love with Sirius, the best friend of her husband. The man who had supported her, been there for her, no matter what over the last year and a bit.

She had no idea what their future looked like, but for the first time, she could now see that whatever it was, it was positive.

 **AN- So, an anxious, drunk all over the place Lily. I hope that date came off as realistic. I liked their first date banter. It was supposed to be a funny take on first date questioning so i really hope it came out that way. Of course they knew all of that stuff already.**

 **Didn't get around to the Snape stuff in this chapter, but the next will have a lot of that in it.**

 **Guest \- thank you for pointing out my mistake, that has been changed. Harry is still 2. **

**a guy 1013 \- thank you for your continued reviews. I can assure you I am updating as fast as I can. I have a few things in mind so am keen to get to it soon. **

**Teagan Lawrence \- I'm glad this makes you happy. Keep reading. I hope it continues to do so. James had to die for this to be a thing. Its sad, but all for the greater good. **

**DeliaDee - I hope your tears are happy ones now as Lily finds her way in this new life. Let me know what you think. There will be some more of James' guidance coming up.**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN- Thanks for the reviews. Keep them coming. I do read them :-)  
Here's some post-date drama:**

 **X-X**

 **Chapter 8 – Aftermath**

Lily opened her eyes and stretched before realising she wasn't in her bed. She sat up fast, looking around realising she was alone. She cast her mind back to the night before and recalled some of the events of the night. She remembered going to sleep with Sirius and wondered where he was now.

She got up, looking down to see she was wearing some of his clothes. She smiled to herself, remembering how incredibly gentleman-like he had been to her the night before. She quickly went to the bathroom and freshened up, smoothing her hair and wiping off the makeup that had found its way to beneath her eyes, making her look a hundred times worse than she felt. In fact, she felt pretty good. Sirius' potion worked wonders.

She noticed her clothes which she had left on the side of the bathtub and dressed quickly, wondering what the time was and how Harry and Josie had behaved for Remus.

She left the bathroom, feeling quite like herself and wandered through the bedroom and into the living room. Sirius was sitting on the couch reading the Daily Prophet, sipping a cup of something that looked incredible.

"Uh, morning" she said.

"Hey there sleeping beauty. How did you sleep?" he asked.

"Like a log" she said, "I haven't slept like that in such a long time" she added, glancing around the room. She noticed that there were blankets folded neatly on an armchair and wondered if he had stayed with her or if he had slept on the couch.

"How about you? Did you sleep well?" she asked, feeling incredibly awkward. What did she do now? Was she supposed to kiss him good morning? Should she help herself to the kitchen? She was at a loss.

Sirius stood and approached her.

"I slept incredibly well" he said, kissing her on the cheek. _'Well, that answers that'_ she thought. "Do you want some coffee? Its hot" he offered.

"I would love some" she said.

Sirius made his way about the kitchen, as Lily looked up at the clock on the wall. It was 11am.

"Oh, good Godric, I have to go, I didn't realise the time… I have to get back. The children…" she said in a panic.

Sirius walked to her and held her in place, his hands on her arms as she was about to run off.

"Relax, its ok, I've already spoken to Moony, he's fed them their breakfast, they've had some fruit and he is making sandwiches for them for lunch. He has it all under control" he said.

"But… I… I can't believe I slept so long" she said, worried that she was now one of _those_ selfish mums who puts her social life before the needs of her children.

"No, I … I really need to go. This is exactly the kind of thing I was worried about. I'm sorry, this was probably a huge mistake" she said, meaning exactly the opposite of what she had just said but for some reason, feeling the need to push Sirius away for the sake of her children.

As Sirius handed her a cup of coffee, she picked her bag up off the bench where it seems she had left it the night before, downed half the mug of hot liquid and prepared to disapparate.

"Don't go Lil, Remus is fine with the kids. We even planned…" he started.

"I'm so sorry… I need to go" she said, looking into his sad eyes before turning on the spot and going home with a CRACK.

X-X

She arrived in the designated spot with a crack equal to the one she left with, however, for her, it was the same sound.

"Remus!? Harry!" she called, heading in the back door of the house.

She ran through the laundry room and into the kitchen, expecting to see chaos reigning around her. Instead, the house was immaculate, and she heard laughter coming from the living room stopping her in her tracks. From the doorway, she watched what was going on with interest. The kids were fine. Remus was fine. Josie was sitting in Remus' lap, giggling at Harry who was pretending to be a dragon. Every now and then, Harry would tickle Josie, pretending to attack her, as a dragon would.

Lily stood there for several minutes, just watching, realising that she had been incredibly insensitive to Sirius. She had declared their date a mistake. A _huge_ mistake. She realised that the biggest mistake was her overreaction. Of course she knew that the kids were fine with Remus, but her fear was more regarding her own issues and how she perceived herself as a parent. She and James had always agreed that once they became parents, Harry's needs would always come before their own. No matter what. Now there were two children and one less parent, it was even more important to ensure she was there for them.

Whatever it was between her and Sirius, she realised, it either had to stop, or be manageable in a way that didn't detract from her responsibilities as a mother.

She cleared her throat and was greeted with a running hug from Harry. Josie just looked at her and smiled reaching her arms out for her mum when Remus brought her over to Lily.

"How was your night?" Remus asked with a knowing smile.

"It was great. But it won't happen again, I'm sorry Remus" she said, taking Josie from him.

"Uh, hang on… What?" he asked, confused.

"It won't happen again" she said.

"I spoke to Sirius this morning, he seemed to think it was the best night of his life. He even made plans for the rest of the day. I planned out a whole afternoon of activities. What happened?" he asked.

"Look at the time Remus. I have responsibilities. I can't just be galivanting off doing my own little thing when I have children to care for. It was wrong of me to expect you to care for them for this long" she said.

"What do you mean Lily? You more than anyone I know deserves some time off. We've been fine here, haven't we Harry?" he said.

"Yep" Harry said, running to the coffee table and grabbing a piece of paper to show his mum a drawing he did.

"What is this, sweetheart?" she asked.

"Dworing" he said in his cutest toddler voice.

"Who is in this picture?" she asked, seeing the circles with sticks at the bottom, indicating people.

"Mummy, Harry, Dosie, Siriiis" he said, pointing to each person in turn.

"Oh… well where's uncle Remus?" she asked.

"Silly mummy, Weemus is there" he said, pointing to the real Remus.

Lily looked at the picture and felt a sudden sadness.

"That is beautiful Harry, do you want to put it on the fridge?" she asked.

Harry nodded with excitement and ran off into the kitchen. Lily sighed.

"Have I made a huge mistake?" she asked Remus.

"Depends what you're referring to" he said.

"I told him last night was a _huge mistake_ " she said, putting that last part n air quotes.

"Lily, Sirius was here this morning raving about how much fun you guys had together last night. He didn't elaborate but he certainly made it clear that the date was a success and he asked me if I could stay all day" Remus said.

"All day?" she asked.

"Yes, all day. He told me you were having a lay in and then I don't know. But Lily, things are fine here" he said, "the kids are fed, dressed, happy… They'll go down for a sleep soon and then what? You've run off on the best thing to happen to you in a year and for what?" he said.

"Gosh, Remus, you're right. You're so right. I'm just a stupid witch. So stupid. What do I do?" she asked.

"Go back. Tell him you're crazy" he said.

"I am…" she said. "The kids…?" she asked.

"They will be fine. Just go now before they have a fit seeing you run out the door" he said.

Lily groaned in frustration, knowing she had to go back to Sirius. She left the living room and headed out the front door and around to the disapparation point so that Harry wouldn't see her leave. It was a tactic she had used a couple of times to do groceries when Sirius had watched him for her.

She arrived at the small circle in the garden and turned on the spot, thinking of Sirius' living room.

She arrived with a CRACK equal to the one she left with, knowing that she had some explaining to do.

"Lily? I didn't expect you to come back… After your _big mistake_ … or was it… _huge_ mistake?" he said as he looked up from the couch.

"I deserve that" she said sadly, sitting at the other end of the couch.

"What do you want me to think? Last night was incredible, we had an amazing time, you were all over me and then you wake up and declare it to have been a mistake. What do I need to do Lily to show you I am serious about this?" he asked, tears in his eyes.

She had ruined everything. She truly was a stupid witch.

"I… I panicked. I saw the time and just thought that I was being incredibly selfish and had to go. I'm sorry. I don't know what else I can say" she said.

" _Do_ you think it was a mistake?" he asked.

"Merlin no. As soon as I said it, I regretted it" she said, taking his hand in hers. He flinched, but she didn't let go. "Last night was one of the most incredible nights of my life Sirius. I finally felt my age, I felt cared for, I felt wanted, rather than needed. You gave me all of that. You give me so much, I just don't know how I might ever repay you" she said, truthfully.

Sirius didn't speak for a while, but Lily didn't look away from him. Her eyes were filled with tears of regret and thoughts that she might have thrown away the best thing that had happened to her in a long time.

"I don't want you to feel like you're repaying me for something. I want you to be here because you want to be" he said.

"Sirius, I want to be here. I do! I want to be here, with you" she said, remembering the conversation they had the night before, just before they went to bed.

She knew Sirius more than she knew anyone and trusted him with her life. She felt things for him beyond what she had felt for anyone other than James. She had wanted him last night in ways that she didn't know were possible and now that she was sober, she was in the right space to make that decision.

She moved closer to him on the couch and he didn't retreat. She still had his hand in hers and was looking him in the eye as she leant her face closer to his. Her heart was beating so incredibly fast, but she knew she wanted this. She gently pressed her lips to his, kissing him softly once. She pulled away slightly to look him in the eye and convey to him how much he meant to her.

She pressed her lips to his once again, this time, intensifying the kiss, putting more passion into it. Her tongue began to dance with his as he responded to her intensity.

Boldly, she sat up from her position on the couch and sat on Sirius' lap, facing him with one leg either side of his. It was the perfect position to continue kissing him, while her hands were free to explore.

She could feel Sirius' excitement growing, not only in the way that he kissed her but in the way he was pressing into her crotch. The fact that it didn't scare her off was a sign for her that she wanted this. She wasn't going to back down or run away. She needed this.

Reaching down, she lifted the hem of his jumper and pulled it off over his head along with his shirt, in one swift motion. He soon caught on, because he did the same with hers.

She continued kissing him, now pressing herself into him, feeling him pressing into her through the fabric of his trackpants. She so desperately wanted this… wanted him. It was now so obvious to her.

Sirius, who had been running his hands over the flesh of her back, reached down and grabbed Lily's backside, holding her firmly while he stood. She didn't realise he was so strong, but he carried her from the lounge to his bedroom where he deposited her sideways on the bed.

"You sure this is what you want?" he asked her, making sure they were both on the same page.

"I am positive" she said, reaching up to where he stood and pulling him down, so he was on top of her.

He was kissing her mouth, then her neck while his hands expertly relieved her of the remainder of her clothes. She noticed that he had removed his pants also. They were both completely naked, both ready to take this fresh new relationship to the furthest place it could be taken. She had complete trust in him, absolute unwavering faith that he could be everything that she needed, and she could be the same for him.

"Its been a while, so go slow, ok?" she asked, afraid that she might have forgotten how or that her body would react poorly.

If she had realised how incredibly good he felt, she may have begged him to hurry. After some initial foreplay, Sirius made love to her, tenderly and gently, just the way she asked him to. It was beyond incredible for her. She no longer felt like she was betraying James, but like she was placing James' family in the arms of someone she knew he would trust. She knew James would be ok with this. He had to be.

Lily cried out when he body was overcome with pleasure, with Sirius following soon after. When they were done, Sirius laid beside her, throwing a blanket over them both. He held onto Lily and kissed her temple, as her body calmed.

She closed her eyes briefly, exhausted from the physical exertion or the mental, she didn't know.

Before she realised, she was walking in a field of white daisies. The sun was high in the sky and she was wearing a yellow sundress. She knew she was dreaming but she couldn't open her eyes. She was trapped in this land of green white and yellow. She walked across the field to where she saw a person, hoping they might tell her how to get back. She didn't know where she wanted to go back to, she just knew that if she spoke to them, they might tell her where she was and why. As she grew closer, she noticed the familiar way this persons hair stood up at the back, the way his shoulders sat, the way he stood. His back was to her, but she knew immediately who it was.  
"James?" she said, in almost a whisper.  
The person turned around, smiling to her.  
"Its me Lily" he said.  
"What are you doing here? Why are we here?" she asked.  
"We're here because you brought us here" he said.  
"How did i… I don't understand" she said, stepping closer to him, trying to touch him. Everytime she reached out, he stepped backwards. "Are you mad at me James?" she asked.  
"No sweetheart, I could never be mad at you" he said.  
"Why can't I touch you?" she asked sadly.  
"Because I'm not really here. I am here in spirit, my love" he said.  
"I miss you so much. Harry, he misses you too… and Josie, she is incredible" Lily said, tears in her eyes.  
"I miss you all too, so much. I am so proud of you Lily. You've come so far" he said.  
"I haven't done it alone… Remus and… and Sirius… they've been incredible" she said.  
"I asked them to. We all made a pact, when Voldemort was coming. We knew something might happen, and it did. I asked them to look after you. And I'm so incredibly proud of my best friends" he said.  
"But James, Sirius and I… we…" she began, but she didn't know how to continue. How do you tell the spirit of your husband that you're in love with his best friend?  
"It's ok Lily, I understand. I am happy that you two found each other in this way. You don't have to explain yourself to me. I am happy for you both" he said.  
"Really?" she asked, shocked by the way he was so calm about it.  
"I have seen what has been building between the two of you and I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it my love. Embrace this new relationship, follow your heart" he said.  
"My heart is with you though James" she cried.  
"Yes, and it will always hold a piece of me in it, but Lily, you can't hold onto something that can no longer be. You need to be with Sirius. He loves you. He tells me so. He doesn't know that I'm listening, but I hear every word of what he says, and I can see how much he loves you. Don't feel guilty, don't feel like you're betraying me. Embrace this. Allow yourselves to be happy. This is what I want. I couldn't ask for anything more. I love you Lily. I always have" he said, as his form began to fade. She watched as his hand reached up and she could have sworn that she felt him touch the side of her face.

When she opened her eyes again, she was laying sideways, beneath the covers on Sirius' bed. He was laying beside her, facing her, stroking her hair. Was it all just a dream? She wondered. Or did she really just have a conversation with James?

She smiled to herself, knowing that it didn't actually matter. The James she knew would have felt the way that dream James did. She leant forward and kissed Sirius, finally free of guilt and shame. Finally free to let go of whatever she was holding back and realise her feeling for Sirius completely.

"I love you Sirius" she said.

"I love you too Lil" he said back, kissing her again.

She felt Sirius press against her leg and thought about how exhausted she was and weighed it up against how incredible he had made her feel just moments ago. Lifting the blanket a little, she hoisted herself up and straddled him, leaning down to kiss him. She made love to him, less slowly and less gently than before, until he rolled her over, laid her down and fiercely, passionately and desperately made love to her with his hands in her hair and his mouth on her flesh.

X-X

 **AN- Let me know what you think. Too soon? I was going to hold off on the sex stuff, but I want to hurry this along a little bit. She gets a letter from Snape in the next chapter and from there it might skip forward through time a little. We'll see how i feel :-)**

 **Lily's panic when she woke up was completely normal. She is first and foremost a mother and for her to stay out over night was one thing, but to sleep in and not make it home for breakfast, that was not something she could handle. Even though she's had help, these children are 100% her responsibility. She just flipped out, but shes ok now. Obviously ;-) ;-)**


	9. chapter 9

AN- Hope you all like this chapter. It's a long one. Forgive the spelling/grammar errors. I'm positing this using my phone, as the website is down. As always, thank you all for the reviews and keep them coming.

x—x

Chapter 9 - Friday 21 January 1983

It was a week after their date and Lily was in the kitchen making breakfast for the children. Sirius had stayed over almost every night and the two of them had relived the events of their incredible afternoon each time. Lily felt like she was in her late teens again, completely head over heels and unable to take her hands off the man she loved.

She had Josie in her high chair and Harry in a seat that was attached to the regular kitchen table chair to make him high enough to reach. She placed the children's breakfasts down in front of them, feeding Josie a bowl of baby cereal that had apples in it. Josie was loving it.

Lily drank her coffee and waited on the copy of the prophet to arrive, which was suspiciously late. She gave Josie some strips of toast to eat by herself as she stood, wandered over to the kitchen and looked out the window for her owl. She jumped when Sirius approached her from behind minutes later, meaning to scare her.

"Sirius, you scared me" she said, as Harry laughed.

Lily turned to face Sirius and he ran his hands up her bare legs.

"You can't keep putting warming charms on the house so you can prance around like this" he said.

"I have shorts on, look" she said, lifting up the long shirt she was wearing to reveal tiny little shorts. She was in fact, doing it on purpose.

Sirius placed his hands on her hips and lifted her, seating her on the bench. He stood between her legs and pulled her close to him, kissing her.

"Sirius… the kids?" she said, conscious of Harry watching them. She hadn't told him yet and he had so far never seen them interact this way.

"Siri kissing mummy" Harry said, laughing and clapping.

"Well, it seems Harry approves" he said, kissing her again.

"Yes, Harry" … Lily said, hopping down from the bench. "Mummy and Sirius love each other and are going to be together now. So we might sometimes kiss each other. Is that ok?" she asked, unsure how to approach this kind of situation.

"Is Sirius going to be my Daddy?" he asked.

This question threw Lily. She hadn't expected it at all, especially just yet anyhow. She looked to Sirius who simply shrugged and mouthed the words 'what do I say to that'.

"Well, Harry… I'm not your actual daddy, but if you want me to, I can do all the same kinds of things that a daddy would do" Sirius said after a while.

"Siridaddy" Harry said laughing.

"That sounds good" Sirius said, turning to Lily. She nodded in approval, as he walked back to the kitchen.

"You realise that this is for real now. There's no backing down" she said with a smile.

"There was no backing down from the moment we stood here and kissed each other almost two weeks ago. Everything since has been a bonus" he said.

"Merlin Sirius, you always have a way of making me out to be some kind of goddess" she said.

"You are Lils. You aremygoddess. You don't realise how incredible you are" he said.

She sighed, turning to charm the dishes to wash themselves. She didn't feel much like standing at the sink washing dishes.

Before she turned back around, she saw her owl flying towards her, accompanied by another owl. When they drew closer, she could see that hers was carrying what looked to be the daily Prophet and the other was a black owl, which she hadn't seen before. They both landed on the owl perch outside the kitchen window and Lily reached for some owl treats, before opening the window and letting them in.

She removed the prophet from her owl and fed her some treats before the owl fluttered away to the owlery for a rest. The black owl held out its leg for Lily to untie a roll of parchment. It rubbed against her hand affectionately before she held out some treats, which it took before flying away.

She handed the prophet to Sirius as she unrolled the letter.

It was in handwriting she recognised immediately. Severus Snape.

Lily,

Your notes are extensive, which is why it has taken me such a long time to reply. You appear to be quite close to finding a cure based on the current wolfsbane potion and your research is good, however, there are some things that I would like to try, with your approval. If we could meet to discuss this further, that would be helpful.

Severus Snape

Lily read the short letter twice over, wondering why it was so short and courteous.

"Look at this" she said to Sirius, handing him the letter.

"You asked him for help?" Sirius asked.

"I had to. I promised Remus I would try, and I can only do so much on my own. He's the best potions master I know" she said, shrugging.

"Lily, he's dangerous. He was Voldemort's right-hand man" Sirius said.

"I know him, perhaps better than anyone else. He's not a danger to me" she said.

"What if he is? What if he's been biding his time, waiting to strike? We know that Voldemort is probably still out there somewhere, in some form. What if Snape wants to get in his good books by handing Harry over to him? You heard the prophesy. Harry will be his downfall" Sirius said.

"Voldemort is gone. Harrywashis downfall. His spell rebound and killed him. Simple as that" she said. "Severus is our only chance to help Remus live some kind of normal life. I know I'm close Siri, let me try?" she said.

"Lil, I really don't like this. I don't likehim.But I won't stop you. I couldn't even if I wanted to. I do ask that you only meet him in public places though… and I want to be nearby" he said.

"Out of sight" she demanded.

"Ok" he said, kissing her on the cheek.

"Honestly, we've been together a week and here you are bossing me around" she said, light heartedly.

"Not bossing you around, I just want you safe" he said.

"Severus Snape will not hurt me" she said, hoping that she was right. She wanted to believe everything she said, about Severus, about Harry and about Voldemort, but she knew that there was a chance that some or even none of these were true. Shewasputting herself in danger, but Harry and Josie would be safe, no matter what. There were enough wards around this house to stop even Dumbledore himself. They had tested it. There was no way anybody was going to get to her children.

x—x

Lily arrived in Hogsmead to meet Snape a week later, on the arm of Sirius. As soon as they arrived in the back street, she let go of his arm, aware that they were now in the magical community. She was still not ready to be front page news.

"We should have brought James' invisibility cloak" Sirius said.

"Dumbledore still has it" Lily said, as they walked towards the main street of the village.

"Hmm, you should get it back off him soon… I'll see you later?" he asked, kissing her on the cheek.

"Of course" she said.

Sirius pulled a thick dark hood up over his head and a cover up over his mouth. He didn't look much out of the ordinary, given it was snowing quite heavily now. He trudged off through the snow, leaving Lily to make her way. She arrived at the Hogs Head Bar quickly and entered, looking around. At the bar sat Sirius, disguised and just a few feet away sat Severus Snape with several roles of parchment in front of him.

Lily ordered a drink for herself and sat down across from Snape. The bar was neither full nor empty. There were a few tables where some people say having hushed discussions and some people sitting alone. Sirius didn't look out of the ordinary, with his face covered. Half of the people who came into the Hogs Head did so in order to be unseen.

Lily wasn't sure if she should hug Severus as an old friend, shake his hand as an acquaintance or simply sit down. She chose the latter.

"Severus, how have you been?" she asked, smiling politely.

"I've been well. And you?" he asked.

"Well, it's certainly been a difficult year and a half, but we're getting through" she said.

"I, uh, I am quite sorry to hear about your loss" he said awkwardly. This tone didn't fit him at all, she thought.

"Thank you, Sev" she said, using the nickname she had used for him when they were younger.

"I took some more time to look through your notes…" he began, unrolling the parchment in front of them and turning it to the side so they could both see. "…and I think that if we change up some ingredients here and here" he said, pointing to different things listed on the page, "we might have something. I listed some changes here" he said, showing her a different piece of parchment that had scribbles all over it.

"Of course…" she said, reading over it, seeing plainly how the potion needed to change.

"You need to add them in a different order to have them be effective in that way" she said, "and then, if you add those ingredients, it becomes permanent" she said.

The two discussed the potion for over an hour, completely enthralled in the process. By the end, they had come up with a workable recipe to create their first attempt at the cure.

"If this works, do you know what this means?" she asked, excitedly.

"I do" he answered.

"We might have cured the werewolf curse" she said.

"I wouldn't say it too loudly, best to keep it under wraps for now" he said looking around. Lily noticed some people had looked their way but when she turned around, they went back to their conversations.

"Absolutely" she said, knowing that this was yet another secret she was keeping from the wizarding world.

"We've spent so much time talking about the potion, what about you? How are you? You started working at Hogwarts I've heard?" She asked.

"I'm not sure what it is you want to hear from me Lily. Are we friends or are weold friendsor is our meeting just for convenience?" he asked.

"Sev, you're one of my oldest friends" she said.

"I begged you to forgive me, remember? You told me you would never…" he said.

"That was a long time ago" she said.

"So, you forgive me? For calling you that horrible name?" he asked.

"Of course I do" she said. "People change, and I certainly am aware that you are one of them. Let's put that all behind us" she said.

"Ok. Fresh start?" he asked, smiling. She hadn't seen him smile since they were young. He had always been so troubled in school and she hadn't seen him since.

"Absolutely" she said.

Looking up at the clock, she noticed the time.

"I have to leave. But we will meet up again to work on the potion?" she said.

"We can use my office at Hogwarts. It's school term currently but I do have some time and its private" he said.

She looked up at the bar to where Sirius still sat, his hood still covering his face. She knew he would protest, but she agreed anyway.

"Tomorrow, 3pm. Is that… I mean, your children…" he said.

"It will be fine. I'll have someone take care of them. I will apparate to the gates and walk up through the grounds" she said.

"No, that won't do. I'll connect my office to the floo network. Dumbledore will have to know, but it's the best way. It's almost a blizzard out there" he said, concern for her etched on his face. She grew alarmed at this, realising that the school crush that he had on her might not have completely dissipated. That was the one thing she was afraid of, above all else. Opening up that wound of his.

"I'll see you tomorrow then", she said as she stood to leave.

"Tomorrow" she said, standing before her in an awkward moment. She didn't know whether to hug him or shake his hand. Instead, she opted for a strained hug, which he stiffened into.

Lily left the bar, not caring to look back. She arrived at the place she and Sirius had apparated to and waited.

It was 10 minutes of her using constant warming spells before Sirius arrived, hood down.

"He knew I was there all along" he said.

"Merlin Sirius, what did you do?" she asked.

"Just had a friendly chat is all" he said.

Lily took his hand and turned on the spot, thinking of the apparition point in her yard before disappearing with a CRACK.

They arrived and headed inside.

"I hope you haven't ruined this with your macho protectiveness. Just like… Well… Never mind" she said to him, trying not to be angry.

"He approached me, if you'll believe it. Told me that he knew I was listening and told me you were safe with him. He said I was a fool to think he would hurt you and for me to back off" he said.

"Well, what did you say to him?" she asked, hanging up her coat on the coat rack.

"I told him that we weren't kids anymore and you were grown enough to hex him if he tried anything. Don't think I didn't pick up on his doe eyes. He still has a thing for you" he said.

"That doesn't matter, because I'm with you" she said, putting her arms around him and kissing him.

"Well, for as long as he doesn't know about that he's going to try" he said.

"He can try all he likes, I am not interested in him in that way. Never have been. He was one of the most prominent death eaters in our generation. His master killed my husband. As much as I care for him due to our childhood friendship, I can't forget about that" she said.

Sirius just wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly.

"Well, looks like you will both have a cure pretty soon, but the sounds of it" he said.

"A cure?" Remus asked, wandering into the room. "Uhh, come off it you two, its bad enough that I know about it, but do I have to see it?" he asked, looking at Lily and Sirius in each other's arms. Sirius just stuck his rude finger up at his friend with a cheeky smile.

"Yes, Remus, a cure. I was close with all of my research, but Severus has helped me put the final pieces together" she said.

"Severus? Snape? Lily are you sure about this?" he asked.

"Yes, I am certain. I've been working towards this for years. It's all I've ever wanted to do. We start tomorrow" she said.

"Tomorrow? Well, that's close. You will need a test subject, I expect?" he asked.

"We're not testing on you" she said, seeing where he was going.

"Why not?" he asked.

"You're too important to me. If something is wrong, I don't want you to suffer because of it" she said.

"So who then? Who is unimportant enough to be tested on?" he asked.

"Severus knows some people. Dumbledore too" she said.

"Dumbledore is in on it?" he asked.

"Of course" she said.

"Well, best he knows then, to keep you safe" Remus said.

"Not you too? Listen, I am safe. I can take care of myself. I can probably hex the pants off either one of you, so I don't need protecting" she said.

"Well, I don't know about Moony, but you can hex my pants off whenever you like" Sirius said with a laugh.

"Oh Merlin" Remus said, leaving the kitchen and heading out to the living room where the kids were.

x—x

29thJanuary 1983

The following day, at 2:45pm, Lily prepared to go to the castle to begin potion making. Sirius was taking care of the children in order to keep his mind off the fact that his childhood nemesis was going to be spending the afternoon and evening alone with the woman he loved.

At 2:55, Lily stepped into the fireplace with a handful of floo powder, waved to Sirius and the children and disappeared into a haze of smoke.

She passed several grates, glancing briefly at the scenes behind them. She thought she saw briefly, Dumbledore's office before coming to a stop and tumbling out Severus' fireplace.

As she fell, he lept to his feet from his desk and grabbed hold of her.

"Oh, thank you. It's been a while since I have travelled in that way. I usually apparate everywhere" she said.

His face was a look of worry and revulsion.

"Perhaps next time, I'll have a cushioning charm ready" he said, no hint of humour in his voice. Despite growing up with him in the same street as her and attending school together, she had so much trouble reading his expressions now. He was not the same Severus she knew back then. He was harder now, emotionless and stale. She wondered what atrocities he had seen and committed himself to make him become this way.

Putting it to the back of her mind, she got to work with Severus in the makeshift lab he had created in a room off his classroom. She thought that perhaps it was new because he hadn't ever seen the door to that room before and she took advanced potions in her final years of Hogwarts.

They followed the recipe they had both created the day before and, although it was complicated, there was no need to brew it for an extended period of time.

By 9pm, the potion was ready to be consumed. Although it looked the way they had expected, there was no way of knowing if it was effective.

"Come, I have a test subject in the dungeons" he said, leading her out of the door, through the classroom and into the corridor.

"Test subject? What do you mean? Who?" she asked.

"I'm sure you'll be pleased with this one" he said "well, your friend will at least" he said.

They arrived in the lowest part of the dungeon and as Lily looked around, she saw that it was mostly dark stone walls, except for one, which had a small window that was covered in bars, and appeared to look out into the lake from within the cliff face.

Lily felt the chill. She had been warm in the castle and in the lab, but she was now positively freezing.

Severus, in a move that stunned her, removed his cloak and wrapped it around Lily.

"Thank you. It really is cold down here, but…" she said.

"Don't… We're just adjacent to the cliff on the edge of the lake, I should have told you to bring your coat" he said.

"Who is down here?" she asked.

"Fenrir Greyback" he said, not looking away from her.

She recognised the name immediately. She had heard it time and time again as the name of the werewolf who had attacked Remus and his family.

"Greyback?TheGreyback? Sev, you know he will not willingly take this potion. His condition is his weapon" she said, as Snape opened the door to the cell. He didn't speak, just looked to her and into the cell.

Laying on the floor, in the middle of the cold dark room was the unconscious form of Greyback. Lily had had her wand out ready to defend herself, however, hastily put it away when she saw he was unconscious.

Snape crouched down beside the werewolf and tilted his head. He gestured for Lily to come forward and pour the liquid into his mouth, which she did. There was no immediate effect, although Lily did not expect there to be. They would not see any significant changes till the full moon which was due in a few days.

Severus shut the door and began walking back to his office.

"So, what do we do if it doesn't work?" she asked entering the classroom behind him.

"We start again" he said, noting down a few changes he made during the brewing process.

"Until we get it?" she asked.

"Yes" he said.

"How many werewolves will you capture in order to test it out?" she asked.

"Hopefully just one" he answered.

"I'm not sure I like the idea of testing on living subjects" she said, wondering about the effects of the potion might be if something went wrong.

"That particular werewolf has committed many many horrific crimes. It's either Azkaban or this. He didn't choose, I did" he said.

"Well, I guess we have no choice. We need to test it" she said.

"Indeed" he answered.

"Sev…" she began. He turned to look at her, hurt in his eyes. She had so many questions, so much to say. This man standing before her used to be her very best friend. He's the one who helped her come to terms with her magic, made her believe she was special, not freakish.

"At some point, I think I will want to ask you some questions" she said.

"I don't know that you will particularly like the answer you get" he said.

She looked at him for a moment, wondering what that might mean. Did he have something to do with James' murder? Was he involved? Was he in league with Peter? Did he know of Voldemort's plan? These thoughts and more now plagued her mind. She would want to ask him some day about all of it, but today was not the day. Instead of continuing that conversation, she put her coat on and gathered her things.

"Well, thank you for your help Severus. I don't know if I could have done it without you" she said, hovering near the fireplace in his office.

"I am happy to help Lily. You might not think so, but I am" he said.

"I know you are Sev. I really have missed you" she said, taking a handful of floo powder and stepping into the fireplace.

She took the floo network to Sirius' place, where she apparated to her house. She couldn't floo into her house due to the wards.

When she arrived in the back garden, she headed directly inside.

The rest of the afternoon was very relaxed. The family sat by the fire, reading books and playing games. Sirius was perfect in every way. He always had been. She was now seeing him in such a different light and he was truly a remarkable man. He loved her children as though they were his own and he loved her as equally as she loved him. Every now and then, they would share a look, one that told the otherI love youwithout having to say it in words. Lily watched him talk to Josie, trying to teach her to say his name, trying to teach her to walk and she was so grateful that she had him in her life. She thought about what might have happened if their date hadn't worked out. She figured she would still remain the best of friends with him. Afterall, they were best friends before they became more.

x—x

Three days after working with Severus in his lab at Hogwarts, Lily woke early to find the daily prophet had been delivered already. She lazily flicked through it, waiting for the children to wake and stopped on page 4 in shock. The article that was top of the page, read:

LILY POTTER AND SEVERUS SNAPE'S SECRET MEETNG

None other than the woman-who-lived herself was seen yesterday meeting at sleezy bar the Hogs Head with Potions teacher, Severus Snape. This reporter has it under good authority that the two are planning a secret romance, however, their efforts to remain secretive were futile, as their entire conversation was overheard but various witnesses in the pub.

'I heard them talking about a weekend getaway' claimed one source.

'They were quite close. Closer than friends, I am certain of it' said another.

This reporter witnessed the two exchanging an amorous hug before Lily left the pub several hours later. It is unclear whether or not they were both heavily intoxicated, however sources claim that when Lily left the bar, she was unsteady on her feet.

Once she left, Severus Snape spoke to a man at the bar, exchanging harsh words and brandishing his wand. Rumour has it that the stranger left the bar with his hands raised in defeat, a move which likely pleased Severus Snape, former death eater.

If readers will remember, Lily Potter's husband, James Potter, skilled Auror and father, was killed by none other than the darkest wizard of our time, Voldemort. It is unclear why Lily, her son Harry and her unborn child survived the killing curses that were fired at them, however, what is clear is that Lily is certainly over that tragic loss and ready to move on with her childhood sweetheart.

More information on the history of Voldemort on page 16.

When she had finished reading the article and the one on page 16, that discussed highly inaccurate information pertaining to the rise and fall of Voldemort, it was all Lily could do not to burst in a rage. She took the Prophet to her bedroom where Sirius was still sleeping and woke him perhaps not as gently as she might ordinarily have.

"You should see this garbage!" she said.

"Good morning yourself" he said blearily, wiping sleep from his eyes.

"I mean it, Sirius, look at this. Look what they wrote about me" she said, thrusting the Prophet at him.

He sat up holding the article in front of him, squinting at it in his still half asleep state. She sat impatiently while he read it, and she grew angrier when he smiled.

"Why are you smiling? What's so funny about this?" she asked.

"Well, at least no one knows aboutus" he said.

"Its not funny, this is my life. I am trying to work with Severus in a professional manner and with all of this dribble, he will probably never talk to me again!" she said.

"I can bet that whoever wrote this is cowering in their house at the moment with wards up all around them, in fear of their life. Snape might be reformed, but he still has connections. If he wanted to, he could make someone disappear" Sirius said.

"Don't be silly. I'm serious, I'm angry" she said.

"So write to them. Tell them what you're working on" he said.

"Absolutely not" she said.

"So, what's worse? People knowing about what you're working on or people thinking you're shagging Snape?" he asked.

"Well maybe we should let them know who I'mactuallyshagging" she said.

"Are you thinking of making a sex tape? Because I'm all for that, but I might need some time to get into shape" he said with a smile.

She gave him a playful slap before he grabbed her and pulled her down on the bed. He kissed her and ran his hand up the front of her shirt. He moved to kiss her neck but was thwarted by the cries of Josie in the next room.

x--x

Later that day, Remus arrived, as he usually did on the day of the full moon, to talk over his fears before the moon rose. Instead, however, he chose to focus on the Prophet article.

"Lily, does Sirius know you're cheating on him with Severus?" he joked.

"Oh, Remus, you're so funny" she said.

"I do my best" he said, "where is Sirius, anyway?" he asked.

"He's just gone to the shop. He'll be back any moment" she said, as a loud CRACK was heard from outside. "Yep, there he is", she said.

Sirius entered a few moments later and Lily handed him a cup of tea.

"Thanks" he said, kissing her on the lips.

"I was just asked Lily here about the article" Remus said.

"Yes, well we have a plan, don't we Lil?" Sirius said.

"Yes, we do" she said, smiling.

"Which is?" Remus asked.

"We're going to go public" she said.

"Already? What happened to the'Lily potter plotted her husband's murder'garbage you were dribbling a week ago?" Remus asked.

"Well its better thanLily Potter and Severus Snape, the next power couple" she said.

"I agree" Sirius said.

'So on the subject of dear Professor Snape, how do you think it will go tonight?" Remus asked.

"Good, I hope. Although, I'm not a hundred per cent convinced that we have the cure on our first try. If it doesn't work, hopefully Greyback survives" she said.

"Greyback? You mean to tell me, you've got Greyback volunteering as a test subject for a werewolf cure?" Remus asked.

"You didn't know" she said, sheepishly.

"Of course I didn't know Lily, you didn't tell me" he said.

"Well, I'm sorry, I guess I have had loads on my mind. I didn't know until I saw him in the dungeon and I haven't seen you properly since. It was either this or Azkaban and I guess it was determined that this was more beneficial to the wizarding world" she said.

"Well, hopefully it cures him, then he can get thrown in Azkaban afterwards" Remus said.

"Cheers to that" Sirius said, raising his cup of tea in the air in toast. Lily just looked at him and turned to clear the lunch dishes from the sink.

While Remus and Sirius sat talking about the potential events of the night ahead for Remus, Lily cleaned up around the kitchen, not noticing when a black owl arrived. She spun around when she heard a tap on the window and sighed in relief at the sight of the bird. She opened the window, fed the owl and untied the small note attached to its leg before it flew off.

Lily

If you would like to observe the outcome of our experiment, you're welcome to attend Hogwarts tonight at full moon. Bring a thick coat.

Sev.

x—x

That evening, just as the moon began to rise in the night sky, Lily floo'd to Severus' office and arrived gracefully, without the need for a cushioning charm or to be caught.

"You're just in time" he said, gesturing to the door.

"Sorry, the children wouldn't settle with Sirius. Must be the full moon" she said.

"Black looks after your children?" he asked.

"Of course. He's their godfather" she said, wondering if now was the right time to tell him she was dating him.

"Bit of a rebel isn't he? I;m surprised you find him to be capable" he asked.

"Not at all. He's really stepped up in the last 18 months" she said.

"I imagine he would slot himself right in to Potter's place" he said.

"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked.

"He was at the bar the other day" he said. "Had quite a bit to say about you" he added.

"Well, if you must know, Sirius and Iarein a relationship. Its quite new so no one knows about it yet" she said.

Snape just looked at Lily, with an unreadable expression. She could have sworn she saw hurt linger on his face briefly before his stone cold features hardened again. They left the classroom and walked the short distance to the dungeon where Greyback was being held. This time, he wasn't unconscious, Lily could tell from a distance, as he was yelling and calling out.

"Did you see the Prophet?" she asked.

"I did" he answered.

She couldn't think of what to say, so she said nothing.

"They will be writing a retraction" he said.

"How did you manage to get them to do that?" she asked.

"I convinced them" he said.

"Using dark arts?" she asked.

"Why is it always dark or light with you? Can there not be an in between?" he asked.

"No. There can't be. My husband was killed by the dark arts, unless you've forgotten" she snapped.

"Didn't take you long to move on though, did it?" he snapped back.

Lily felt the anger rise in her face and before she knew what she was doing, she reached up and slapped him across the face.

"Don't youeverspeak to me like that again" she said, her voice low and threatening.

"Ohhh, in trouble are we Snapey?" came a voice from the dungeon.

"Quiet" roared Snape. The voice was immediately silent.

Lily stood in silence, waiting for the moment when the full moon would rise. Severus didn't speak at all, nor did Lily. She took notes on a small notepad she brought with her on everything that happened while she was there. When the moon was high in the sky, it shone into the room, through the small barred window.

Greyback, seeing this, cherished the moment to bathe in the moonlight. Lily watched intently, keen to see if their potion had worked. Greyback's eyes closed and his body went rigid. He let out a cry of pain as his body began to change. Within minutes, a werewolf stood where Greyback's human form had just been, however, as quickly as he changed, his body began to change back. Lily watched as time and time again, Greyback transformed from human to werewolf and back again. It was extremely difficult to watch and after a few transformations, Lily had to leave.

She could hear Greyback's yelps and screams from down the corridor and felt no desire to stay. She ran back to Snape's office and shut the door behind her, tears springing to her eyes. She knew what he was, she knew all the things he had done, but the suffering he was enduring right now was inhumane. And she helped to create it. She couldn't imagine how she would be feeling if she had been willing to accept Remus as a test subject. Even sedatives wouldn't prevent the transformation.

She sat in the corner of Severus' office thinking through everything they had done, all the steps, the ingredients. She so desperately wanted it to work so her dear friend wouldn't have to suffer at every full moon, becoming not only a danger to himself, but to others as well.

Remembering everything she had learnt about the human brain, she began to think of other ways to combine the ingredients, other things to include. The potion centred around the wolfsbane potion, but it had to be more. It had to be better than that.

She remained in place for hours, thinking, writing, creating. In the end, she had created three more potion recipes. They were all different in both structure and method. They all would look different, smell different and be completely different to concoct.

By 1am, she duplicated her notes, left them on Severus' desk and floo'd to Sirius' place before apparating home. She crawled into bed, exhausted and emotionally depleted. She hoped that Greyback survived his continual transformation back and forth, if only to become test subject again next full moon. She looked out the window as she snuggled in beside Sirius, wondering if Remus was ok, hoping beyond hope that in a few months, she and Severus would have the cure.

x—x

"Is this absolutely what you want to do?" Sirius asked her.

"Of course. They wrote that stupid retraction, but it was more an ode to Severus and how clever he was. Prat. This will prove to everyone that I am not his secret lover" she said, as the two of them walked through Diagon Alley, pushing Josie in a stroller with Harry on Sirius' shoulders.

"People are going to have a field day with this you know?" he said, looking up and down the street, which was set up for a Valentine's Day festival.

"I hope they do. I am not the same shy Lily Evans I used to be. I am strong. I can handle whatever they want to say about me" she said.

They browsed the market stalls at the festival, getting looks and stares from several people who recognised her. It had been a long time since she had been out in the wizarding world, and this was why.Did people seriously not have anything better to do than stare? She wondered.

"Lily Potter? Its Lily Potter" came a voice.

"Is it really? I thought she was taller than that?" came another.

"No, I'm certain of it. That's her little boy Harry and shedidhave a baby. See, I told you. A little girl" said the first voice.

At this, Lily turned and smiled politely at them, "Yes, I am Lily Potter, yes, this is my son Harry and my daughter Josie. If there is anything you would like to know, please ask, otherwise I'd love to get back to my day out with my family" she said in frustration.

"Oh dear, I'm sorry love, I just… It makes me so happy to see you out and about dear. Its terrible what happened. Terrible" said an older witch.

"Yes, well… Its been a difficult year and a half, but we've gotten through with the help of some people very dear to us" she said, clutching the arm of Sirius.

"Very good, dear, very good" said the other older witch.

Lily bid farewell to the witches and she and Sirius continued their browsing of the festival stalls. They had stopped for lunch and had a turn on an amusement ride that had been set up before heading to the Leaky Cauldron to drive home. They had greeted several people they knew throughout the day, declaring the desire to catch up in the future, without actually intending to do so. So far, it had been mostly positive, with no one asking about Severus but at the same time, no one mentioning the two of them in each other's company.

As they wandered down the cobblestone street, a young wizard approached them.

"Is it true? You're Lily Potter?" he asked.

"I am. And you?" she asked.

"Andy Poddige, from the daily prophet" he said. "I'm here reporting on the festival, but if you'd like to give me an exclusive interview, that can wait" he said, looking from Lily to Sirius and then down at their linked arms.

"How can I trust that you won't make it out to be false garbage, like the one that was written about me and Severus Snape?" she asked.

"I can assure you madam, the person who wrote that piece is no longer employed at the Prophet. I can guarantee, if you give me an exclusive, I'll let you approve the final article before its published. Besides, it's quite clear from what I can tell, there is no secret romance with Snape" he said.

"Very well then. I hope you have a quill, this needs to be quick" she said, glancing at a sleeping Josie and heading towards a vacant table and chairs nearby.

She spent the better part of an hour, telling the young man her perspective of what happened the night James died and of how she and Sirius came to find love with each other. It was quite fitting, given it was Valentine's day. She felt like she had done her story justice in the short time frame and was happy with how she had portrayed her story of one of survival and love against all odds as opposed to a scandalous affair with her husband's best friend.

Sirius drove them home in the setting sun with his arm around Lily as the children slept in the back seat. The day had been perfect. They had agreed not to give each other gifts for Valentine's Day, instead, taking the whole day as a gift in itself.

Sirius stopped off at a lake while the kids stayed asleep so the two of them could stretch their legs. With the car in sight at all times, Sirius took Lily for a walk down by the water. The winter sun was low on the horizon and the water was gleaming. When they arrived at a boardwalk, Sirius stopped walking and turned to face Lily. She was so happy in this moment and she felt as if nothing could top the way she felt. She leant forward and kissed him, letting him know without words how much she appreciated him in her life.

Immediately following this, Sirius held Lily's hands in his and knelt down on one knee. Initially, she had no idea what he was doing, but after a few moments, her heart lept into her throat.He was proposing.

"Lily, I know this relationship between us is really new, but I feel like I've known you forever. You truly make me so happy and I absolutely adore Harry and Josie. What I want to say, Lily Potter, here by this lake in the setting sun, will you please, agree to marry me? Will you let me try and make you happy for the rest of our lives?" he asked, producing a ring from his pocket.

"Oh Merlin… Sirius…" she said, unable to find the right words. She was shocked that he asked her this, here, now. She had no idea how to answer. Of course she loved him, that was a given. He made her happy, he made the children happy. She couldn't imagine being with anybody else for the rest of her life. This all made sense. So why couldn't she just say yes?

"Just say yes… Say something?" Sirius whispered, looking up at her.

"I… Merlin, this is so hard to say Sirius…"


	10. Chapter 10

**_21_** ** _st_** ** _February 1983_**

 _LILY POTTER FINDS LOVE FOLLOWING TRAGEDY_

 _Lily Potter, also known as The-Woman-Who-Lived has given the wizarding world a glimpse into her life in an interview that spans two pages inside today's edition of the Daily Prophet. Detailing events that occurred the night of You-Know-Who's downfall and her husband's death, the lovely eloquent Lily tells us what she is doing now and talks of a romance between herself and none other than Auror, Sirius Black. "It was a really hard time for us both, James was Sirius' best friend. I suppose we just found comfort in the familiarity of each other's pain… It's simple with Sirius. We just love each other, what can I say?" she says, telling this writer of her fresh new relationship. And what of that story of her apparent secret relationship with none other than Severus Snape? "Oh that's ridiculous. Severus and I are old friends just catching up. Whoever the sources were that day were terribly mistaken" she explained. Lily has hinted at an upcoming project she is working on with lifelong friend Severus Snape but wouldn't elaborate further. "Its definitely something to look out for in the next few months, but unfortunately, I am not at liberty to elaborate" she said. See pages 12 ad 13 for the full story on the life of the woman-who-lived.  
Since this article was written, Lily and Sirius have become engaged, with a wedding date set later in the year. Lily tells us that the proposal, while a shock, was quite romantic. _

Lily read the front-page article many times over, while drinking her morning coffee. It was a week since the interview when the article originally came out and each day since, she had read it over and over again. She had not expected it to be front page news and definitely not expected a two-page spread. She read the feature again and smiled to herself, happy that she had requested so many changes. Initially, the article had made James out to be weak, but Lily insisted it describe him as a hero who gave his life for his family and for the wizarding world. There was no mention of a sordid affair, like she had feared, just pure sappy romance, which is how she wanted it. She looked down at the ring on her finger and smiled to herself. It was so different to the one James had given her when they became engaged, but equally as beautiful.

It was now several weeks since their engagement and also the night of a full moon. She had been in close contact with Snape over the weeks, attending Hogwarts on several occasions to brew the three different potions. Snape had recruited another two volunteers so that they didn't have to try one at a time. Lily was desperate to get this over and done with. She knew one of them had to work. They were all too perfect.

That night, she arrived at Hogwarts eager to see if the potions were going to work.

Arriving in the dungeons, Greyback was there, as before, along with a man she didn't know and one she did.

"Severus, what is this?" she asked, looking at her friend Remus in the cell.

"He is here of his own free will" Snape said.

"In a cell? Remus, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"I had to do something Lily. You needed volunteers, I have the werewolf curse. It was a simple decision" he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"We agreed you wouldn't do this Remus" she said, tears in her eyes.

"Lily, I have faith in your abilities. His too" he said, indicating to Snape.

"I told you what happened last time. I couldn't watch you go through something like that. I won't" she said.

"You've made assurances. I trust you" he said.

Lily could do nothing but stand back and watch, as one of her closest friends took the potion she helped to invent, without knowing how it would affect him.

She watched as the light from the moon crept across the room, one cell at a time. She had no way of knowing if any or all of the potions would work, she just had to trust that she and Snape knew what they were doing.

When the light hit Greyback, he howled in pain, transformed into a werewolf and fell unconscious. Lily noted down step by step what happened and feared for Remus. Next, came the first volunteer, who cringed at the moonlight, but did not transform. Lily thought it had been a success, and scribbled down extensive notes, until the man abruptly unconscious and onto the bed. Lastly, as the moonlight approached Remus, she looked to him with fear in her eyes.

"Remus" she whispered, hoping beyond hope that whatever happened, happened quickly.

As the moon reached his body, he braced for something to happen, however, nothing did. Remus stood and moved to the small window, looking out into the full moon, completely unchanged and seemingly unaffected. The seconds ticked by and Lily grew more and more uneasy, however, as more time went by and nothing happened, Lily began to feel excitement.

"Its beautiful" he whispered, finally free to look at the full moon in all its glory, without changing into a werewolf.

"How are you feeling?" she asked Remus.

"I feel fine. Like any other day" he said.

"What about senses, do you have any heightened senses that you're aware of?" she asked.

"No, nothing" he answered, looking over to the two-unconscious people in the adjoining cells.

"I wouldn't… I mean… I don't know how they will be. If they'll be ok. Only time will tell" she said, looking at them.

"So, does that mean it worked?" Remus asked.

"Not sure, you will have to stay until the full moon is gone and come back again for the next. At this stage, we can call it a success" Severus said.

At this, Lily smiled. Her whole life's work could potentially be realised. She may have effectively cured lycanthropy. She stayed for a while with Remus, talking about what this could mean for the entire wizarding world. No one would ever have to transform again. Lives would be saved and people would be free to live a normal life.

She conjured some comfortable bedding and gave him a goblet of water.

"It's the best I can do" she said.

"Its fine. As long as I am contributing in some way" Remus said.

"You are… In the biggest way" she said, standing to leave. She held Remus' hand through the bars, before bidding him goodnight and turning to leave.

Back at Snape's office, she sat excitedly across form him at his desk.

"Do you know what we may have just accomplished?" she asked.

"Of course" he said.

"Are you mad at me?" she asked, sensing something off about him.

"What would give you that impression?" he asked.

"You've been short with me all night. You recruited one of my best friends to participate in this experiment without consulting me… Seems to me you have something on your mind" she said.

"Lupin approached me. I couldn't say no. We needed him" he said.

"Are you mad that I got engaged?" she asked, knowing he had feelings for her since they were children, but recently having thought he moved on. Perhaps he hadn't? She wondered.

"Don't be ridiculous, your life doesn't involve me" he said.

There was silence for a while before Lily spoke again. She thought about Severus and all the things he had done. She thought about how easily he turned spy for the order after being so loyal to Voldemort. It seemed to coincide with the prophesy, the attack and his employment at Hogwarts.

"Severus, did you have something to do with what happened that Halloween?" she asked, suddenly aware that it was all too much of a coincidence.

"What of earth are you talking about" he asked, not looking at her.

"Sev, please. You were one of the most loyal death eaters. You were one of the originals. You mean to tell me, that a prophesy is made which implicates my family as targets, at the same time you apply for a job at Hogwarts and turn spy… and none of it is connected?" she asked.

"You seem to have been thinking about this for a while" he said.

"Only since I told you that I would be asking questions" she said.

"And what did I tell you?" he asked.

"You told me that I wont like the answer" she said.

"Well, there you have it" he said.

"So you _were_ involved?" she asked.

"I knew about it. I knew about Pettigrew" he said.

"And you did nothing?" she asked, tears growing in her eyes.

"I did as much as I could, as much as was within my power to do" he said.

"Which was… what?" she asked.

"You don't need to know" he said.

"Of course I do, Severus, my husband died that night. Do you not remember?" she asked.

There was a long silence, where Snape appeared to think deeply about his next response. Lily sat quietly, breathing heavily. Was she about to find out some incredibly important information?"

"I'm the one who overheard the prophesy being made. I'm the one who told the dark lord what it entailed. I had no idea that you were pregnant at the time. No way of knowing…" he said.

Lily gasped. Severus, her lifelong friend was the one responsible for her husband's death? Surely not.

"As soon as I found out it was you, I begged him to change his mind. It could have been anyone. Could have been the Longbottom boy. But the dark lord was focused on you. It had to be you. He had made up his mind, so I begged him to let you live" he said.

"Why?" she asked, "we didn't know each other anymore at that point. You hated me for marrying James. We weren't friends Severus. Why put yourself in that position? What did you stand to gain?" she asked.

"I felt guilty. If I hadn't told him about the prophesy, he would never… I stood to gain nothing but would have lost everything. I had to do something" he said.

"You risked everything. Why? Because of some childhood friendship?" she asked.

Snape exhaled in exhaustion and exasperation. He lifted his wand and waved it, casting a wordless Patronus.

Lily watched, as a doe, identical to her own Patronus, stepped out from the white gleaming mist and pranced around the room. It circled them both then stood beside Lily.

"I don't understand" she said.

"Of course you do. Its obvious" he said.

"So you have feelings for me?" she asked.

"Just go. I don't want to do this. Forget it" he said.

"So you go running to Voldemort, telling him that a baby has to die, then get all guilty about it because he targets me and Harry and you're upset because you're in love with me?! Why didn't you do something? Why didn't you tell somebody? Tell Dumbledore? Tell _me!_ James could still be alive. We could have found a way to survive. I could have the father of my children with me now. If you love me, if you ever loved me, why did you keep this from me?" she said, half in screams and yells with tears springing from her eyes.

"Dumbledore knew. That's how I was able to spy for the Order" he said quietly. "There was no way to survive. You would have been on the run forever. What happened, was a strange set of circumstances that _he_ didn't predict, but he is not gone. He has ways to ensure his survival. He will return. You can be certain of it" he said.

"And when he does, what will you do?" she asked.

"I will do what I do best. I will play the game" he said.

At this, Lily turned to leave. She entered the fireplace and looked at Severus one last time, into the face of the man who had been her best childhood friend, who had taught her all about being a witch, who had been there for her up until their final year at school. The man who was the reason her husband was dead. The one who is responsible for every bad thing that has happened to her. She felt numb, completely unsure of how and what to feel in those last few moments looking into his face. With a tear rolling down her cheek, she dropped the floo powder on the floor od the fireplace and disappeared.

That night, she crawled into bed, feeling a mixture of emotions. Remus hadn't shown any side effects, other than not transforming into the wolf, however, nothing could be certain, and he may in fact still transform at the next full moon.

Her heart ached with the information about Severus being the one to report the content of the prophesy to Voldemort. If he hadn't, her life would be completely different. As he said, she would have spent every day on the run, but James would be alive. And if James was alive, she wouldn't be laying in the arms of Sirius. She was torn between a world that she had longed for, a world where James was still alive and the world she had come to understand and adjust to.

This revelation about Severus having been in love with her his whole life was incredibly bizarre to her, but it made sense. If everything he said was true, then in time, Voldemort would return, and she would most likely have to face him. Afterall, the prophesy said, that either Voldemort or the chosen one must die at the hands of the other, in the end. There was no way she was going to let that monster near her son.

 **x—x**

 **30** **th** **March 1983**

A whole month had passed since Lily and Severus' last conversation. In that time, she had spent many long hours talking it through with Sirius, deciding what it all meant, figuring out how she felt about it.

While her love for James still burned strongly within her, she had to face the reality that the past simply could not be changed and that she was happy now, in this life with Sirius.

Remus had shown no negative side effects of the potion and tonight was the night that would show whether or not the potion was permanent.

Lily kissed her fiancé and children good night before accompanying Remus through the Floo network and into Snape's office.

The procedure was much the same as the previous month, however, this time, there was no potion to drink and no other subjects to study. Just Remus. Greyback never regained consciousness following the last potion and found himself in a permanently locked ward at St Mungos and the other volunteer was awaiting a response to the outcome of this full moon cycle before trying the potion that Remus had taken.

As the evening drew nearer, Remus took himself to the dungeon cell and locked himself away, knowing that if something went wrong, having a werewolf in the castle was definitely not something that was easily explained to the parents.

As the light from the full moon drew nearer, Lily was on edge, her heart racing. This was going to determine if they had been successful or if it was back to the lab.

The other volunteer, squinted at the moonlight, before crying out in pain, turning into a werewolf and abruptly falling asleep. His snores were soft, and Lily recognised the effects as being similar to the Wolfsbane potion, only with more of a sedative feature. She noted down her observations quickly before turning to Remus' cell.

"Well, here goes" he said, looking to the other volunteer and then to Lily.

The full moon's glare shone brightly into the cell, directly where Remus was standing. He looked up at it, waiting for his transformation, however it never came. The longer they stood, the more excited Lily became. For an hour, three people stood in silence in the dungeon of the Hogwarts castle, growing more and more excited with every passing second.

"How long do we wait?" Lily eventually asked.

"I don't want to risk it" Remus said.

"While its safe to say that we think we have the cure, I'm not going to take any chances" Snape said.

Lily conjured a portable cot and set herself up in the room adjacent to the cell.

"Well, this is an extraordinary night Remus, you're not staying here alone" she said.

For the rest of the night, Lily and Remus Lupin sat up talking about things they hadn't spoken of in forever. For the first time, Remus could begin to make plans. He could start thinking about a life where he didn't have to hide at every full moon. It was incredible for Lily to listen to Remus' excited plans for a life he never thought was possible. While he praised her highly for her work in creating this cure, she felt that he worked just as hard, volunteering as a test subject. They spoke of how incredibly painful it was for Lily to watch him take an untested potion and he told Lily that this cure meant so much to him that he was willing to risk his life on it.

Following that night, Lily and Remus had become so much closer than ever before, now bonded over an experience that would never need to be repeated.

 **x—x**

 **August 1983**

 _LILY POTTER AND SEVERUS SNAPE – JOINT EFFORT IN CREATING A CURE FOR LYCANTHROPY_

 _Earlier this year, Lily Potter and Severus Snape combined their potion making abilities to effectively create the first ever known cure for Lycanthropy, also known as the werewolf curse. While a potion has always been available to lessen the effects of the full moon transformation, never before have we seen a complete cure for the curse.  
Lily Potter, who is due to marry Sirius Black in a matter of days, told us the motivation behind her creation: 'I wanted to help make a difference in the lives of those who lived in the shadows. These people didn't choose to turn into monsters at the full moon, most of them were bitten against their will and had this forced upon them. Something had to be done and for me to dedicate a few years to this cure, is nothing to the positive impact that the cure will have on those who take it'. Brilliant words from a brilliant witch. While Lily is open to discussions surrounding this invention, the same cant be said for Professor Snape, who chose not to comment. An interesting feature of this invention, Lily Potter has declared that she will personally fund the first 100 doses of the potion. Previous werewolf and now highly skilled special services auror, Remus Lupin spoke openly about his battle with Lycanthropy, 'It was truly terrible to live with this secret… I was bitten at age four and have never been able to live a normal life. Since the cure, I have been recruited by the auror department and have been promoted to special service auror. I owe my life to Lily and Severus. I have so many opportunities that I didn't have previously, and I am taking advantage of every one of them.  
As of the date of this publication, there have been 20 successful werewolves cured with many more scheduled to receive their dose before the next full moon. _

**_x—x_**

 ** _December 1983_**

 _THE WOMAN WHO LIVED – LIFE AFTER TRAGEDY_

 _Lily Potter and Sirius Black were married this past weekend in a beautiful ceremony, surrounded by close friends. Readers will remember that Lily Potter, now Lily Black, is the co-inventor of the cure for Lycanthropy and the woman-who-lived. She is only one of three people to ever survive the killing curse, the second being her son, Harry and the third, her unborn child. While very little is known about the specifics of how it was done, Lily and Harry's survival saw the end of the reign of terror of the darkest wizard of our time. Sirius Black is a skilled auror and reportedly loves Lily's children like his own, which is no surprise, given he is their god father. There has been much speculation, in the lead up to the wedding that Lily and Sirius were having an affair while Lily's late husband James Potter was still alive, however, sources close to the couple say that that is simply preposterous. 'That's the biggest load of garbage I have ever heard' stated one close friend. 'Lily and Sirius were both incredibly distraught when James died. It wasn't till a year later that they found comfort in the arms of each other. To say anything else is to tarnish the name of James Potter, who died a hero'. It is safe to say that everyone in the wizarding world is wishing nothing but the best for Sirius and Lily Black._

 **x—x**

 **November 1984**

 _THE WOMAN WHO LIVES WELCOMES TWINS_

 _Lily Black, formerly Lily Potter and Lily Evans, has welcomed twins into her family after a year of marriage to Sirius Black. Lily spoke to us from her home, saying that she and the babies were happy and healthy. Sirius Black, well-known Auror, is said to be extremely happy and a loving, doting father. The twins, who have been named Lyra and Carina, are the younger sisters of Harry Potter aged 4 and Josie Potter aged 2. In the lead up to the birth of the twins, Lily was working in the ministry of magic as a potion's theorist, following the development of the cure for lycanthropy, which has been a global success. Lily and Sirius prefer to remain out of the public eyes, integrating their children into muggle community as much as possible. It is said that this is because of her fear of You-Know-Who returning, however there has never been an inkling that he was not completely destroyed on Halloween night in 1981. Story continued on page 5._

 ** _x—x_**

"Why is it that every time I give an interview, it turns up on the front page of the Prophet?" Lily asked, throwing the article down on the bench.

"Because everyone wants to know what you're doing, how you're coping and what's been happening" Sirius said.

"Well, at least they're not making it up, like they did when they wrote about Severus and I" she said.

"If they did, I'd happily hex that ugly orange hat off the head of that ridiculous reporter" Sirius said.

"Are you jealous?" Lily asked, stepping into the outstretched arms of her husband, as they stood in the kitchen.

"Me? Of course not. I've got nothing to worry about" he said.

"Of course you don't, I've only got my eyes on one man" she said, standing on tip toes to kiss him. Lily closed her eyes, relishing this rare moment of peace. Since the twins were born 4 weeks ago, the two of them had barely had time alone and when they did, all they could think of doing was sleeping. The intimacy was almost non-existent, instead replaced with bottles, nappies and tantrums.

Initially, Lily was distraught at the idea of another baby, let alone two, after what she went through following Josie's birth, but with the right medi-witch, Lily was feeling optimistic about the future and Harry and Josie were coping perfectly well.

There was a brief moment where Lily thought that she and Sirius could have some quality alone time, however, as usual, the moment she let herself begin to get carried away, one of the twins cried.

It was at least another month and a half before Lily and Sirius would have any alone time. It was Christmas night and the children had all gone to bed. Remus had visited for a while, staying to have a few drinks before heading home. His life had been all about work now, and he was extremely good at it. Lily didn't take any of the credit for how his life had changed. Remus had taken it upon himself to make something of himself, now that he was free of the burden of being a werewolf.

Lily smiled as he left, happy that at this moment, for the ones she loved, life seemed to be going well.

"Its just the two of us" she said, as she placed her glass goblet in the sink at the kitchen.

"So it is" Sirius said, approaching her with a menacing look in his eye.

He flicked his wand at the wireless, which played some slow Christmas song. He held his hand out for her to dance and she took it without hesitation. While four sleeping children would usually mean sleep, today, for Lily, she wanted it to mean something more.

She looked up into the eyes of the man she loved, the man who had given her so much more in this life than she might ever have hoped for, the man who married her and made her feel whole again. She kissed him, allowing everything she loved about him to go into that kiss, letting him know that she appreciated him, she loved him and she needed him.

Lily pushed off Sirius' robes and lifted his shirt. She was desperate to feel him close to her again. It had been two and a half months since the girls were born and Lily was more than ready to be intimate with Sirius again. In fact, she was desperate.

After hastily removing his shirt and then her own, she threw them both on the floor and hoisted herself up on the kitchen bench. She couldn't stop kissing him, and she could sense that he felt the same.

Life had been perfect, their relationship, their marriage, everything about their life was wonderful, except for the fact that they no longer had time for this kind of interaction anymore. And it wasn't a surprise, Lily knew that it would take a long time to get back into it after having a baby, and she had two of them at once. But now, she knew that she was ready. She needed this. It was like an itch deep down inside of her that needed to be scratched. Only moments ago, it was all about the intimacy, the closeness and the emotional connection of their minds, hearts and souls, but now, as she felt his erection press against her as she wrapped her legs around his waist, it was purely all about her physical need.

Sirius kissed her and touched her in places that he hadn't dared to in weeks. It felt incredible to her, but there was only one thing she was seeking. She reached down and unbuttoned his pants, releasing his erection from the confines of his pants. She could sense his hesitation, so she brought him closer, using her legs to pull him towards her.

"Please Sirius, I need this so badly" she whispered.

He stopped kissing her and looked into her eyes as he held her firmly in place. He pushed himself into her in one swift movement, helped by the fact that she was so ready. It was slow at first, while he made sure she was ok. She had her eyes closed and was enjoying each movement he made. After he was certain she was fine, it became fast and hard, desperate and needy. They were both seeking the same thing, both looking for that rush, the mind-blowing explosion that they always felt with one another. Lily couldn't deny the fact that Sirius was incredible at sex. He had the perfect equipment and knew just how to use it and just where to touch her to make her explode with pleasure.

Pretty soon, the two of them were overcome and together, in sync, came apart in the arms of one another, on the bench in the kitchen.

After they crawled into bed that night, Lily laid in the arms of her husband, in the spot where his shoulder met his chest and his neck, where her head fit so perfectly. He held her close and she felt so safe. As though there was nothing in the world that could come between them, nothing that could hurt them. As long as she had Sirius, she had it all.


	11. Please continue on to the sequel

Thank you all for sticking with this story.

This is the end of this portion of the story, however, please go over to the sequel JAMES' SACRIFICE - NEXT GENERATION to see what the Potter/Black children get up to at Hogwarts.

I promise you wont be let down.

Josie is an incredibly talented witch, with magical abilities beyond what anyone thought was possible. She experiences anxiety and panic attacks and feels isolated from her family because she isn't the chosen one, nor is she her daddy's girl like her younger sisters. When a boys shows interest, she falls, and falls hard. The complexities of teenage romance are in abundance throughout the sequel with the main focus on Josie and her experiences.

Josie becomes involved in the battle of the astronomy tower and makes choices she never thought she would have to make by the age of 15.

The sequel explores marriage law, wandless magic, eidetic memory, family bonds, magical transference, occulmency and more.

The hunt for the horcruxes takes a different turn than canon, but its safe to say by now that that would be expected.

Please, if you haven't already, or if you're just getting to this chapter, go and read the sequel. 


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